hate

Post-Jordanism: noun- The artistic (cultural?) movement which began in late 2011. Works within this deal with themes of existential crisis, identity crisis, posttraumatic stress disorder, the state of being broken, intrusive thoughts of (non)existent(?) memory, the morbid preoccupation with suicide, grief, uncontrollable emotion, and darkness as a simple abstract concept. ex. 1: "Kill me."

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Possibility

[enter SHADE and RED]
Shade: ..what the fuck? I'm alive?
Red: I thought I was definitely dead, dead as a dodo.
Shade: I thought the end had come, EAT had eaten all.
Red: SHHHH, DON'T SPOIL IT!
Shade: What? It's just the end of the DCA.
[enter ALLITERATOR]
alli: Hey, how's it going. I wanted to let you guys know that you're in Rapture now. The story, not the.. not the place.
[SHADE is now SHAYDE; RED is now REDROCKINGHOOD, so.. so still RED]
Shayde: ..oh shit.
Red: That explains why I have boobs all of a sudden.
?: FOOL
Red: OH GOD IT'S MEPHILES
[enter FOOLAMANCER]
Fool: No, you weirdy. I'm Foolamancer! Sorry, I coughed there and said "Fool" randomly.
Shayde: That's an oddly specific thing to do when coughing.
Fool: Shut up; this is just a promotional teaser anyway.
[enter THE VISITOR]
Vis: sup
alli: Hey, how's it going.
Fool: Yo.
Vis: what we all doing in here?
Red: I have boobs.
Vis: i can see that.
[enter LIZARD BITE]
Liz: Heh, "Vis" rhymes with "Liz."
Vis: well hello to you too.
[enter MESSERTOD, EXORCISTGAMER, ALLANBAG, LOVEHOPERAINBOWS, and some other guy]
?: "Some other guy" I take offense to that.
[THESOMNAMBULIST!]
Som: That's better.
alli: What are you doing here? You were never a part of our party.
Som: Wasn't I invited?
Vis: yeah, but Djay didn't know your real name. i got to kill spidercats.
Som: I wanted to kill spidercats...
[Somnam kills some spidercats]
Som: Hooray!
[then he disappears]
Som: Aw. Bye, I guess.
[HEY FOLKS. I'M DJAY32. oh wait, I'm supposed to be at the other side of the planet, aren't I? Okay, looks like some things need explaining. HERE GOES]
alli: Right, hello. My name's alliterator. I alliterate. We have all been gathered here today to witness the teasing of some sort of.. wait, what'd you say it was?
[I DON'T TALK; WE'VE MOVED ON FROM THAT. THIS IS YOUR JOB.]
Fool: Beep beep meow!
[SHUT UP]
Red: I guess I'll do the honours. In OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING's August 22nd entry, a cast of characters was introduced.
All: THAT'S US! :D
Red: We are based on real people, but just as (five out of six of) the main protagonists became fictionalized, so have we!
Vis: are you saying that Donnie wasn't fictionalized? that she portrays her real self without flaw?
Red: You know what I mean!
[At the same time, I finished an eight-year-running script series which was, in many ways, the predecessor to Rapture. So I needed something else to do with my life.]
alli: So much for "We've moved on from that."
Red: There was much potential in our characters! We were a cast of survivors who had found each other, formed memories, and had witty inside jokes amongst each other!
Love: We also all had usernames, most of which weren't mentioned in the log. So readers are probably wondering who's talking.
[I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. For the record, I don't expect Rapture and this new project to cross much.]
Red: The point is that DJay went and said "Hey, why don't I make a script set in the Raptureverse, and why don't I make it about those guys? It can be funny and stuff too!"
[That's probably exactly what I said to myself. But yeah! That's right!]

COMING SOON TO PROBABLY A TUMBLR NEAR YOU:
The Adventures of the Fearbloggers: Rapture Tales
by DJay32, based on characters by the Fearbloggers
based on a universe half-by DJay32 and half-by copyrighted things and shit

ALSO: THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY AS DEFINITE AS IT SOUNDS. There's a good chance nothing will become of this. No matter what, don't expect this anytime soon.

1 comment:

  1. "A tour de force." "Two thumbs up." "Marvelous, just marvelous." "I couldn't stop laughing." "What did I just read?"

    Also: this is hilarious.

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