Post-Jordanism: noun- The artistic (cultural?) movement which began in late 2011. Works within this deal with themes of existential crisis, identity crisis, posttraumatic stress disorder, the state of being broken, intrusive thoughts of (non)existent(?) memory, the morbid preoccupation with suicide, grief, uncontrollable emotion, and darkness as a simple abstract concept. ex. 1: "Kill me."

Friday, January 27, 2012

Administry and Testing

Oh hey, I've been writing things.

Administry for a Cause and Testing in Progress are both blogs that will revolve around the same aspect of the same Fear, and they will both expand upon motifs opened in Jordan Eats Normally Now.

Let me let you folks in on a little secret, just for the few of you who read this blog: Administry for a Cause and Testing in Progress are part of the greater Topography Genera 'sub'-mythos. Like, it's not a mythos of its own; it's just a part of the Fear Mythos. But it's a full universe of its own, you could say. Both Administry and Testing focus on key themes to be discussed in another upcoming blog, one that will be blatantly more related to Topography Genera Center East.

I think, when this story's really going, I'll make a Tumblr or something that contains links to all the blogs in this story. And I think it's safe to say the Tumblr will be called Topography Genera.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


..oh yeah, I'm done reading that.

Did I like it? ........it's a bit of a love/hate deal. I love it, but at the same time, I hate it so much. I loved every minute of reading it, but now that I'm looking back on it, there's so much I hate.

..and some other stuff happened, too. Don't wanna talk about it. But basically, I have no idea when I'll next try to write something. o_e

Friday, January 20, 2012

Hiatus of the personal variety!

I'm about to start the third act of Homestuck. Before I began reading this story, I hated the very concept of Homestuck with a burning passion that often manifested in a surplus of caps lock and more vulgarity in one paragraph than in every Rapture log combined. See, I've heard a lot of hype, and 90% of the hype I hear for Homestuck advertises things I hate very dearly. Add that to the fact that I have a strong aversion to popular things, and you can bet I wasn't looking forward to reading this thing.

Now that I've read the first two acts, I can tell you I like most of what I've read, almost all. Though there's still plenty of stuff I don't like, I tend to just ignore those. Now, I gotta be honest, I'm not really looking forward to reading the rest. I hear a lot of.. criticisms for the story past a certain point. ...but I'm sure I'll be better after I sleep! I'm exhausted!

..I shouldn't have said "I'm about to start the third act;" I meant that's where I am in the story. And I'm gonna sleep. And then I will start the third act.

So, uh... my writing is kinda on hiatus until I either catch up with or drop out of Homestuck.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

On How Pretentious and Attention-Loving I Am

I realize I do a lot of things in my writing that people would consider "strange." For instance, I use wordplay every goddamn chance I get. I know there are readers who dislike this, and I know I do it often in excess, but I do it intentionally, and that's all that matters to me.

If a writer does something intentionally, then I don't think it's a bad decision. I think the only bad decision in writing-- or in art in general-- is a careless decision. You can do something for consistency, you can so something to drop an anvil, you can do something to convey a tone or for the sake of the plot, as long as you do it and know you are doing it. Because, if a writer intends something, that's an important part of the work to consider. The writer honestly feels like, if they didn't do that thing, their work wouldn't come across exactly how they want it to. And that's.. pretty damn important.

Myself, I use wordplay for a wide assortment of reasons, my influences being one of the bigger ones (Peter Gabriel, Tommy Giles, and names I can never remember), as well as to sort of.. make my own 'voice.' This is my style of writing, and if people don't like it, that's okay. I'm a prog fan; I'm pretty used to people not liking the stuff I like. But I write the way I do for the people who like it. ..as obvious as that sounds, I feel it needed saying.

...ANOTHER THING I DO, though I haven't received explicit criticism for this: I don't really make many different accounts for my blogs. A lot of people might make an entirely new account for every blog, to make it really seem like a different person. Get into character, and whatnot. I don't do that; I have four separate accounts ("DJay32," "Garth," "Weathered Crashes," and "Blogger") and I intend on keeping it that way. Hell, I made the "Blogger" account (with the vague email thefearblogger at gmail) specifically so I could just make loads of blogs on that one. But again, as with the wordplay, I keep my account numbers low for a reason.

It's no secret: I'm self-conscious, and I love attention (though I try my best not to act like an attention whore! ....not all the time, at least!). When it comes to self-esteem, my writing is one of the only things I am very proud of, and honestly, I fucking need that self-esteem. So I like to keep my name on things. Hell, I made Topography Genera's Liquid Len use the "DJay32" account because I was too lazy to make a new one (actually, because I only made that blog to test the dynamic blog layout, but then somebody shared the link in public so I thought Oh screw it and made it official). And every blog I make that doesn't use this account ends up with my name in the credits, which leads me to my last "strange" thing.

Credits! Credits don't come up often in blogs, as people like to keep the medium 'realistic.' Well, personally, I take inspiration from Marble Hornets for this one; they released a credits video for Marble Hornets Part 1 after Entry 26 came out, and a lot of people bitched and whined about immersion. Immersion is a funny thing, as apparently, writing a story in blog or vlog format instantly means you have to keep a strong sense of realism up. Personally, I do that only for the duration of the story. Once the story has ended, I'd much rather give credit where credit is due, explain what ideas I ripped off, maybe put it all in a video so I can use Bound by the Moon's awesome Fear leitmotifs.

But some people disagree with that in blogs, and I can certainly respect that! Hell, I can respect all of that. I just get butthurt when people suggest I change stuff, as most of the time, I made a conscious decision to include it.

Monday, January 16, 2012

"Where My Eyes Remain" is over!

Where My Eyes Remain is 100% over. It was the shortest blog I've ever written, probably. It's just meant to be a little short story about an interesting interpretation on the slender man, though. That, and it's similar in theme to Memories of a Time Beyond in that it's a metaphor for a girl overcoming a lifetime of suffering. ;w; I really like that concept, I admit.

But really, I just really wanted to say I'd finished more stories. xD

"Blind Man's Soliloquy"

I actually did my homework for once. Luckily, my homework these days is "Write us a short story; it can be about whatever you want." Though I wound up writing about one of the pre-made prompts we were given, just because it interested me. The prompt was to write about an old and broken-down building or section of town from any perspective we wanted.

I walk alone down the silent street, caring not for the smells of the city around me. I care only for the sound: silence can be my only friend when it pleases me. Whereas other people may ask for crowded company and cries of complaint, I beg for a bushel of brisk brushes with the Queen of Emptiness. Her speech fills me with a joy I've not felt since my departure from the Middle-East a number of years ago. Here on the silent street, my only company is my only shadow, he who has remained by my side as the most faithful companion I could ever have.
My father has unforgiven me, my mother forsaken me. The land of confusion and hurt faced my younger self for too many a year, but the new dawn awaited my face with a faculty of fear. War took its toll, battle after battle of bottled-up memories followed. I received, in the post, a stressed piece of trauma, and it took a large bite out of my best friend. My shadow has never been the same. Darkness plagued my eyesight much with the ticking away of bullets free, but does new life follow old death?
I gained freedom from the bloodstained Hell, only to find myself in the Hell-stained blood of my frail mind. Day after day, seeing shadows in the light of the night, hearing voices from miles away. I know they are fake, yet sometimes I purposefully pursue them. Sometimes I want to die. Sometimes I pray for the silk of life's sorrow to wrap around my throat, times other I beg for the eldritch easel of the end of an endless eternity to encapsulate myself. All I ask is an answer to an above argument: Does new life follow old death? If I die tomorrow, will I be alright? With the deterioration of my mental state, can there be hope for a future?
With my remaining vision, I spot a tinsel remain: the memoirs of a parade once forgotten. This street truly is decrepit, but there at least lie the lore of an old life. Surely, if new death can follow old life, there must be a possibility of a new life to this armored-bombshell lifestyle. I turn and head back for the newer sections of town. I have a long road ahead of me, but at least there are no cars; silence awaits me with a smile.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

DJay32 Listens: The Silent Circus, Between the Buried and Me

I just received Between the Buried and Me's second studio release, The Silent Circus, in the mail today. I want to first listen to it on here. I am so looking forward to this.

The Silent Circus

Lost Perfection (a: Coulrophobia)

Starts with a ghostly static. ...oh hey, the liner notes explain what the songs are about. o_o This song's about a baby born on the last day of the Earth. ..Tommy's growls sound ridiculously funny in this. xD The instruments are as badass as ever, though. ...oh hello badass riffage.

Lost Perfection (b: Anablephobia)

Seamless transition! ..Google says Coulrophobia is fear of clowns, and Anablephobia is the fear of looking upwards. .."DEATH IS IN THE AAAAAIR," that was awesome. ...quirky. o_o Followed by a guitar solo that is entirely just.. ambience. I like this.

Camilla Rhodes

"Camilla" is referenced in a lot of their songs, so I'm looking forward to finding out what this is about. ..oh, it's about how mainstream music is more about sexual image than actually good music, and how sex as a topic shouldn't be so glorified when kids can clearly see it. "Camilla Rhodes" is from a David Lynch film, and Tommy won't say more about it. Dammit. ..the song, itself, is pretty awesome. ..okay, I like this.


I've seen the music video for this song; this song is beautiful. ..I don't really have much to say about it. ..sheer beauty. ;w; I can never get tired of this.


A short song about dreams. Awesome. :3 "Sleep insane." Fucking beautiful.

(Shevanel Take 2)

Ah, a continuation of "Shevanel Cut a Flip" from their debut. Except this is entirely acoustic. These guys are way too good at making beautiful music. .w.

Ad a dlgmut

This song is about the same concept as the musical Stomp is: Music can be made of any "noise." Heavy metal is "noise" to the common listener, but true fans can listen and see how beautiful it can be. And the title is just made-up words. ..god, this song is really good. "It all makes sense, we're capable of beauty through sounds that make one cringe. The dogs only hear us now." I love this stuff. Oh god, badass ending.

Destructo Spin

Ooh, a song about George Bush. ...ooh, this is really goddamn catchy. I love the transition to the "Mordecai" section there.


...shit! This song's about the sinking of the Titanic, and how the legend goes that "the band kept playing until the ship had sunken." True musical dedication. The music here is.. as badass as I've come to expect. ..nice triplets. ..oh dear god that is awesome. It really sounds like impending doom.

The Need for Repetition

..oh hey, when did this song start? :D It's apparently the band's most repetitive song, and it's trying to repeat a message into people's minds: Don't molest children. ..awesome guitar solo. owe ..huh. I think the whole album ends on creepy ambience just as it began.

...The Man Land

Bonus track at the end of "The Need for Repetition." This is hilarious. It's Between the Buried and Me being as redneck as they can be.

I hereby conclude that, at least for the time being, I prefer The Silent Circus to Alaska. Though "Selkies: The Endless Obsession" is pretty hard to top. But I'll get used to the albums, and then I'll stop looking at them as competing albums and I'll start seeing them as pieces of the larger picture. :3

Monday, January 9, 2012

Why Apple is so Popular

My Apple Macbook Pro is 100% functional again. Let me tell you what the fuck we had to go through in order to get this thing running.

First of all, I had to book an appointment with the 'local' Apple store (read: an hour away) by phone, going through the automated messages and then trying to decipher the human lady's British accent. o_e Booked that appointment. Went to the Apple store with my mum the next day, and... I wasn't booked. What the fuck. So we looked for any nearby store, found a little mom-and-pop computer-repair shop, paid fifty quid for a repair and left the Macbook overnight.

Came back the next day (hour-long bus ride just to get there, and boy was it raining!) and.. they had broken my Macbook more! That's what we Brits call "cowboy workers," reader(s). So we went to the Apple store again, booked an appointment for real this time, but had to wait two days for it.

Two days later, we went to the Apple store again (again with the long-ass bus ride) and gave the Macbook (now literally falling apart) to a fully-trained Apple store worker. He said it'd cost a hundred quid to fix it, but when he saw that my mum and I were kinda desperate and had been cheated pretty badly so far, he actually bumped the pride down by forty pounds. He took the labour charge off just for us. ;w; Said it'd be ready in five-to-seven days.

It was ready the very next day.

We just got it back, and it looks good-as-new; they replaced the keyboard and it just.. yes. It's great. I am in love. With my Macbook and with Apple.

And I am never eating a Pot Noodle anywhere near this thing ever again! <__<;;;

Friday, January 6, 2012

Alaska.. Disc Two?

My copy of Between the Buried and Me's Alaska came with an unexpected second disc. I was expecting it to be the coveted Alaska instrumental edition or something, but... I got something else. I swear I know what this is.


Eight tracks. I recognized the harsh vocals of the first track, so I looked up the lyrics to a certain album. Eight tracks. Song times all match perfectly.

My copy of Alaska came with a free copy of Between the Buried and Me's debut album, Between the Buried and Me.

That is awesome. ;w;

DJay32 Listens: Alaska, Between the Buried and Me

Just got this in the mail today, it's Between the Buried and Me's first album with their current line-up that they've kept through Colors, The Great Misdirect, and The Parallax: Hypersleep Dialogues.

This is Alaska. This is gonna be a wild ride.

All Bodies

First song, let's do this! ..ooh, Tommy Giles got better at singing over the years. ...slaves. What. What is this song about, I like this. This is quirky. ...sounds like Ayreon or something with that pretty chorus! ...oh my god this is so fucking quirky I am in love. I think my mum's just trying to ignore the vocals. xD The third movement's heavy. owo Oh my god this is so fucking catchy, I just want to wildly headbang. OH GOD DAT ENDING. OWO


The title track! I have seen the music video for this twice, and I really like it. Let's enjoy the song, itself. God, I love those keyboards. I love everything about this band. ... oh my god so fucking metal. Oh my god playing with dat riff. OH MY GOD CHROMATIC PROGRESSIONS, "ALASKAAA." ....>W< DAT. ENDING.

Croakies and Boatshoes

..interesting title. Starts with breakdown. The lyrics seem to be a commentary on suburban rich snobs. Explains why this song sounds so angry. ..."DON'T STAAAAAAARE." Damn, this is so fucking heavy.

Selkies: The Endless Obsession

Hello, 7/8. owe ...fucking catchy. <33333333 Oh god that first line. ..OH GOD HEAVY PROGRESSIONS. DEM VOCALS, BACK TO THE 7/8 CATCHY. ...and... into pure beauty. ;W; This masterpiece is in Rock Band, isn't it. I must get it. ...KEY CHANGES? OWO Goddamn that was so beautiful.

Breathe in, Breathe out

Fifty-five-second instrumental! ..this is some pretty acoustic stuff. :3


....o________o Stark contrast. This song is about how automated music is today, isn't it? ...what is this. This sounds fucking badass. YOU ARE PLAYING WITH IT. I LOVE YOU, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME. Quirky hello! ...played with. oWe ...this is metal. oWo ..the end of the lyrics, three minutes left. Bass starting up. MY ANUS IS READY, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME. >W< ..oh, back to singing. ..and then it seems to stop again with over a minute left. JUST RAPE ME ALREADY. :c ...WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING, I CAN'T FIND YOU IN THE LYRICS-- IS THAT A FUCKING BOMB DROPPING? O___O Oh my fucking god this is one of the most brutally badass metal endings I've heard in my life.

Backwards Marathon

Starts off technical. ..is this song about their music? Where on Earth will this song go-- that's catchy. 8D I do not comprehend those drums, but I can tell they're impossible for humans to play other than Blake Richardson. ..and maybe Mike Mangini. ..ooh, 5/4 bass riff. This sounds pretty. "IT'S RAINING. IT'S RAINING. ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY--" oh, wrong song. ..OOH, that's a really pretty build-up. And a pretty final line!

Medicine Wheel

Instrumental. Four minutes. o_o ..yep, it's pretty so far. :D ..I really like this. This is relaxing.

The Primer

..what the fuck is this song about. o_____o; There's talk of whores and guns and 2005 and what. It's pretty heavy, I know that. ..goddamn classical music played in a metalcore breakdown! owe ..oh my god. Freaking circus music ending.


"The masters of the ocean churn down my mind?" Awesome. ...oh god this song is Tommy Giles' fears about how people will take the band's music. ;_; ..wow, that was very quirky. ..still is. owo

Laser Speed

Final song, 3-minute instrumental! ..this is pretty Yes-like so far. ..oh my god now it's upbeat and poppy and elevator music-y. .w. Sounds like goddamn "Low Rider." This is a hilarious way to end this album.

Well fucking done, Between the Buried and Me. Well fucking done. I can tell I'll only love this album more the more I listen to it. Alaska, my first impression of you is "Social commentary, what the fuck." And that's exactly what I first thought of Colors, and that wound up becoming one of the greatest things I'd ever heard. Come to think of it, everything this band does winds up being one of the greatest things I ever hear.

Four fucking stars out of five upon first listen, only to increase, my friends.

My Writing Process

This is one of the only Radiohead songs I can stand. ..okay, fine, one of the only Radiohead albums I can stand.

So I'm trying to come up with the drive to write more, but I can never really feel like writing. For one thing, my Macbook's busted; I spilled a Pot Noodle on it and suddenly it coughs up blood and dies. You know what I was doing when I spilled that? Writing a goddamn Topography Genera entry with Cadet.

..ope, Radiohead's done. Next song. How about I put on something longer?

Ah, who would I be if I didn't enjoy Dream Theater's "In the Presence of Enemies?" 83

..right. So I want Topography Genera to be a really really good story, but I realize the flaws with cowriting it with other people. Cadet's having trouble really coming up with good character in Duchess, whereas alliterator's kinda just speeding off and writing so much that we can't keep up. ..I mean, I probably would be able to if I wasn't waiting for a lot of pictures off Cadet. ^^;; I feel really bad about having her be the only artist and even worse about pretty much requiring a picture of a Fear for every "Fossil" post.


So I'm gonna have to be patient and work with Cadet as much as I can, try to make her as comfortable with this story as I am. Maybe even put Genera on hold a bit as I see if she can start with a much less taxing project. You see, Cadet's not a writer by trade. But joining the Fearbloggers, my colleagues, and exposing herself to all these horror stories has kinda made her really interested.

I just got a completely different idea, I'm gonna go do that right now and write later.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Seven logs!

No fixed Macbook yet, but I got literally seven new Rapture logs written.

Will release them all on January 2nd, for that is my seventeenth birthday!