My Apple Macbook Pro is 100% functional again. Let me tell you what the fuck we had to go through in order to get this thing running.
First of all, I had to book an appointment with the 'local' Apple store (read: an hour away) by phone, going through the automated messages and then trying to decipher the human lady's British accent. o_e Booked that appointment. Went to the Apple store with my mum the next day, and... I wasn't booked. What the fuck. So we looked for any nearby store, found a little mom-and-pop computer-repair shop, paid fifty quid for a repair and left the Macbook overnight.
Came back the next day (hour-long bus ride just to get there, and boy was it raining!) and.. they had broken my Macbook more! That's what we Brits call "cowboy workers," reader(s). So we went to the Apple store again, booked an appointment for real this time, but had to wait two days for it.
Two days later, we went to the Apple store again (again with the long-ass bus ride) and gave the Macbook (now literally falling apart) to a fully-trained Apple store worker. He said it'd cost a hundred quid to fix it, but when he saw that my mum and I were kinda desperate and had been cheated pretty badly so far, he actually bumped the pride down by forty pounds. He took the labour charge off just for us. ;w; Said it'd be ready in five-to-seven days.
It was ready the very next day.
We just got it back, and it looks good-as-new; they replaced the keyboard and it just.. yes. It's great. I am in love. With my Macbook and with Apple.
And I am never eating a Pot Noodle anywhere near this thing ever again! <__<;;;