What is "OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING?"

Off to the side of this blog, you may spot a gadget referring to itself as my "online resume." On it are a series of links to various works of mine. It's not complete, despite what it may tell you. I don't remember all of my works, and there are bound to be a few I don't even want to share. But in the meantime, I had may as well describe what each link actually links to.


OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING


Quite a while ago, there were these "rumours" going around that the world was gonna end on May 21st, 2011. It was some Christian in Florida or something named Harold Camping; he was saying that "Rapture" was coming at 6 PM on that day. I don't know if anyone believed him, but when the day finally came around... suffice to say, everything was fine.


On May 21st, 2011, I came up with an idea while talking with a friend of mine on AIM, a friend I call "Fentzy." She posted, as an AIM status, "GOD THE RAPTURE BURNS." I paraphrase. We wound up having a discussion about the Rapture phenomenon that was (sarcasm)totally(end sarcasm) going on around us. It was then that I came up with an idea I'm surprised not more people did: Write a journal telling of my struggles to stay alive as all the sinners of the world are cast into Hell.


So I went on Facebook, and I opened up a new note. I titled it "OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING (Cyborn B: The Decade of Rapture) Or 'How I Survived the Apocalypse.'" I began writing a journal taking place between 11:59 PM on May 20th and 6:00 PM on May 21st. It involved myself as I saw the sky turn red, cats grow into demonic spider-like beings, I made some social commentary, I fought The Rake, and I discovered a portal to another dimension. ...actually, the note featured a lot of genuinely appealing things. Like Cockroach Jesus, who is exactly as he sounds: a man-sized cockroach with the head of Jesus Christ.


The note became a surprise hit, attracting the attention of people who would normally never read my stuff, and then I realized that "Rapture" was allegedly coming at 6 PM Eastern time, which was 11 PM my time. So I decided to make a sequel note, extending fictional Jordan's journey to just after the story reached 11 PM. I really took the time to experiment with my writing, adding situations more imaginative than I thought I could do, pulling off tropes I'd only read about before, and throwing in an ending that was more comedic than religious. I was genuinely proud of my work, and the reception was more than warm.


I was going to end it there. That's when another good friend of mine, a mister Danny Finnegan, informed me that Harold Camping was restating himself. Rapture was said to only be beginning; it wouldn't fully arrive until some time in October.


I made the decision that would change my artistic future forever. I decided to extend OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING. I wasn't entirely sure where the story would go, but I was sure I wanted to keep going with it. My first thought was to expand upon the fact that The Rake was present in the first log. Why not say it's a Fearblog? So I decided to work the Fears in the story.


Note: There's a lot of story-related production information that I will not disclose here at the moment, as the plot is still ongoing and to release the information here would be giving spoilers I don't want to disclose.


Before long, I had one of the most intense and promising plots I'd ever imagined. I had a legitimate cosmic horror story on my hands. I had a topical plot, above all else. And I had a definite fanbase. I made a few more Facebook notes before realizing that, in order to make more fans, I'd have to circulate the story on other websites. So I decided to give the story its own blog. But Blogger didn't feel right, so I tried giving Tumblr a shot.


I transferred the Facebook notes into an organized Tumblr format, and then I set out to write future logs on the blog. But I still needed one thing in order for it to feel right.


I put on my slendercoat, my trilby, my purple scarf, and my 3D sunglasses, and then I grabbed my Guitar Hero II-brand Gibson X-Plorer guitar controller. I went downstairs and asked my mother if she could take a photograph of me posing with "Tiger Stripes," my guitar (that I had also sprayed with a little ketchup, to give off the illusion of a bloody weapon). I put the photograph on the Tumblr; now my story had visualisation to add to it.


Every entry is written in an almost Twitter-like stream-of-consciousness style, and the reader is asked to keep a willful suspension of disbelief that Jordan can somehow write in his journal in some of the most bizarre of times. There has been an entry for every day since May 20th, 2011 (except for May 22nd), and I intend on there being one for every day until October 21st, 2011.


Shortly before October 21st, Harold Camping suddenly changed his mind and said no one can define when the world's gonna end. So Camping's story ends with a whimper, and OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING's story lives on.


The overall plot is divided into four acts. The table of contents can be found here.


Act I: The Coming of the Four Rakes
Our narrator meets up with a strange girl named Donnie, and the two set out to search England for a safe haven from this "Rapture." On the way, they discover that there are these portals called "rabbit holes," eldritch creatures of all sorts of sizes and threat levels, survivors who may or may not be as insane as the beasts scattering the planet, and that Rapture is not here yet. But it's coming. Meet Mistress, May 20th-July 4th.


Act II: The Seven Ciphers of the Blind Man's Book
Jordan and Donnie have arrived in America and met up with fellow youths Danny and Fentzy. The group must search the States for the closest thing to a world-saving lead they have: seven mysterious phenomena simply referred to as "Ciphers," all scattered deep within the other universe. Can they decipher the ciphers before they are hunted down by the Fears and before Rapture arrives? Meet Fentzy, July 5th-August 7th.


Act III: The Duels of the Knights of Xanadu
With the decoding of the Ciphers came seven legendary figures known as "the Knights of Xanadu." The prophecy goes that Jordan has to duel them all, but with the protagonist party at its full number of six, the kids are finding it hard to save the world without stepping on each other's toes and hearts! Things get obfuscated further when several new Fears appear completely out of nowhere, and Jordan has to settle conflicts among his friends and the eldritch abominations populating the apocalypse! Meet the Neonate, August 8th-September 15th.


Act IV: The Hunt of the Beast and the Harlot, The Seven Beacons, and The Terminal Coming of Rapture
The protagonists have discovered the meaning of "Rapture," and now their hopes are running slim. As twisted figures hunt to bring the end of the world, The Beast returns to his people and hunts for his wife, and the rabbit holes cover entire countries, the question now is whether Jordan can do what the prophecies ask of him. Meet The Beast, September 16th-October 21st.


The whole website has a slew of bonus features, including critical acclaim, promotional artwork, and even fanart.

Exasperated

I sleep in the living room in the house I grew up in. I live here with several other people, only one of which is actually related to me (Nathan, my brother).

"What's it like living there?" After an 18-hour day of school (not a typo), I was ready to sleep tonight at midnight. It wasn't until 4 AM that the tenants decided to stop watching loud television and go to bed.

I don't even know if I wanna sleep anymore. Those four hours were plenty enough time for my emotions to go bad. This is what I get for being a teenager with a shitty life story.

DJay32 Plays Minecraft

I haven't had a real chance to give Minecraft a shot until just now. I was gonna record myself playing it, but I've decided against that. Partly because I can't find a copy of Fraps that works on a Macbook. So instead, I'm just gonna keep a journal.

We're starting on Easy mode, as I was advised to not begin on Peaceful. It's apparently not good for entertainment.

DJay32 Plays Minecraft, a journal
First of all, I have no idea what version this is, but I have the feeling it's not up to date.

I spawned near a coast, got used to the controls and whatnot, and began looking around. I found the animals adorable, then I decided to start exploring.

I travelled quite a way, exploring foggy mountains and clearer valleys. I almost went into a mine before realizing I have no portable light, so I headed back out.

And then night fell.

I ran into a dark corner, and mashed buttons until I realized that Macbooks have no right-click. So I kept trying until I figured out how to place blocks, then I made a little block fort. I waited a minute for night to pass, got impatient, then went back out. Immediately, I heard a growl and turned and ran and closed the fort again.

Then a zombie hit me through my blocks and killed me.

I respawned.

I awoke near a coast again. This time, I went straight for the ground and dug. I got several blocks below ground, then started moving forward. Eventually, it turned day and I resurfaced, no longer just a mole man. I explored, immediately heard a hiss, and ran as a giant spider hopped around.

I ran around a little pond, then I saw something man-sized. Something green. Something that looked suspiciously like a cactus. I inched my way up to it in fear, then looked at all four sides of it. It was a cactus.

So I went back to exploring. Crossed a lake, reached an island, attempted making a water irrigation system. Then I just started digging again.

...this game's fun, but it's not entertaining to watch.

I prefer the term "Morally Hilarious"

For the longest time (that is, a couple weeks), I've had a busted Macbook and laptop. The only way I had of going on the internet was my iPod Touch, and I used that primarily for flirting with hot girls keeping in contact with hot and dominant girls my friends. However! Today, (one of my) best friend's mother was able to fix the Macbook's charger, thus rendering it usable again. I've already released a new post and video on Jordan Eats Normally Now, and I've gotten back to work on the oddly-difficult task of inching my way through OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING (which will receive a post dedicated to it on here soon!).

Moral of this story? Mooch off your friends, and kiss ass for a living. Don't forget to flirt with dominant girls. It helps to kiss their asses too. It's not exactly a non-fun activity, anyway. >W> 


This is DJay32, signing out!

What is "Memories of a Time Beyond?"

Off to the side of this blog, you may spot a gadget referring to itself as my "online resume." On it are a series of links to various works of mine. It's not complete, despite what it may tell you. I don't remember all of my works, and there are bound to be a few I don't even want to share. But in the meantime, I had may as well describe what each link actually links to.


Memories of a Time Beyond


At one point towards the end of my time in England, around midsummer 2011, I got bored of being trapped with all the same blogs, so I decided to make a quick short story to tide myself over. I came up with the idea of making a blog about the Fear known as The Choir, much as how Jordan Eats Normally Now was about the Fear called EAT.


I made a few posts every now and then, but I never really 'clicked' with the story until tonight, as a matter of fact. In fact, tonight I wrote.. the latter half of the whole blog, I'd say. And now that it's over, I decided to post about it here.


The story is of a girl named Polly who tries to lose herself in nostalgia, but quickly grows to trust her blog with a much more personal story. I don't want to spoil much so soon after finishing the thing, but to put it vaguely, it's psychological horror with not really all that much supernatural stuff. I'd go as far as to say there is no supernatural stuff in it at all.


You can find it here.

Regarding my Fear writings

When I write something that takes another person's creation, I tend to take my liberties with it if I'm allowed permission. In Jordan Eats Normally Now, readers are wondering why my Empty City isn't "behaving" like The Empty City "should." This is also because of the liberties I take. I like to make sure everyone's guessing, and if not even the creators are sure how their creations work, then you have some proper horror.

Case in point: Mister Troy Wagner took some liberties with the slender man when making Marble Hornets Part 1, and now his artistic vision of the creature has wound up becoming the norm for most slenderblogs.

A school update

I'm currently in the computer lab in second period at my high school. I'm surprised they haven't blocked Blogger.

I've finished my history project way early, and so now I'm without work. I want to just write.

Writing helps me escape from the world. Jordan Eats focuses a lot on psychological horror, and with good reason-- I really do go through that kind of horror almost every day. Writing helps me leave it, even if only for a little bit. Writing takes me away from all the stresses, the neverending worries, the pools of sheer eldritch thoughts that I can't possibly organize (and yet have already arranged themselves in patterns I can't recognize), and all the memories of abuse.

Horror is my genre, and there is very good reason for it.

What is "Jordan Eats Normally Now?"

Off to the side of this blog, you may spot a gadget referring to itself as my "online resume." On it are a series of links to various works of mine. It's not complete, despite what it may tell you. I don't remember all of my works, and there are bound to be a few I don't even want to share. But in the meantime, I had may as well describe what each link actually links to.

Jordan Eats Normally Now


Way early in the year (around February-ish, I'd say), I was asked by a fellow troper whether I could provide an eldritch abomination for a little project of his. He specifically asked for a "Water Elemental" for something he referred to as simply "A New Mythos." The mythos was to be a mythos of creepypasta and other assorted internet horror featuring an assortment of baddies, and my pal wanted a water-based one.

So I go to the New Mythos thread and throw out five brainstorms for "water elemental" abominations. One of them is a tentacled pondmonster, one is a Victorian-era lady of steam, one is a strange mist in the middle of the desert, one is something that possesses grandfathers, and one is a ten-staged "blog comment virus." I decide to blend two together-- the first and the last.

I have now created an eldritch abomination. But what to call it? For now, it's just called "the Water Elemental." I think for a while, and I discover an oddity in horror: a lot of horror is inspired by heavy metal or folk or just plain rock lyrics, with a lot of the eldritch inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. I set my heart out on being different. I set my heart out on being inspired by progressive rock, and the works of Stephen King and Troy Wagner.

I begin to come up with the inner workings of my beast, crafting the details of the "ten-stage blog virus," merging it with the tentacled pond-monster. I look into what could possibly be more original than tentacles in a pond, and I find out through a fellow troper that many fungi have "string"-like extensions that are similar in appearance to tentacles. I decide to make my Water Elemental a sort of eldritch fungus. ..that expels ink.

You see, the Water Elemental works by "eating" the water in a body of liquid and replacing it all with its "ink." Its ink looks exactly like water and tastes exactly like it, but if it happens to "eat" all the water in your body (70% water!)? Welcome to the hive mind, bitch. Welcome to her hive mind.

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.


I still need a name, though. So I open up my music library and take a look at some of the most progressive stuff I have. I spot two names: Genesis' "The Battle of Epping Forest" and Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Tarkus." I start throwing brainstorms out there. "The Pond Epper?" Not quite. "The Epping Tarkus?" Close, but something's missing. ...then I remember the seventh movement of "Tarkus:" Aquatarkus.

"The Epping AquaTarkus." Say hello to EAT.

My colleagues love it. "EAT." It sounds so evil.
But it's not evil. It's patient, it's growing, and it's not of this world, but it's not evil.
It's perfect. But also learning. Learning about us.

Now I just need a story.

What's wrong with most blog horror stories? They're obviously fake; the protagonist has a couple of normal entries before "OMG SLENDER MAN." The prose is too.. formal; if a character meets and has a lengthy discussion with someone or something, when they get home that night, they will recount every single detail of the conversation word-for-word. They're hard to follow if using multiple media; EverymanHYBRID is the perfect offender of this, with several blogs and YouTube channels and Twitters that require multiple timelines just to follow accurately.

To remedy the first problem, I decide to use a blog I'd been keeping since age twelve. Originally titled DJay32's Paper Dimension, renamed Jordan, Large But Not in Charge, and then finally (coincidentally) renamed Jordan Eats Normally Now, this blog has as realistic of a backlog as it gets; it really is real.

To remedy the second problem, I make sure my protagonist omits a lot of information and is as unreliable and untalkative about his life as it gets. If he has a discussion with someone in the day, he'll go home to blog and either give a rough recollection of events or not mention it at all.

To remedy the third problem, I make sure all external media is captured in screenshot/link and posted on the main blog. If a new reader were to read only the blog, they would therefore get the whole story, despite many videos being uploaded to YouTube and other blogs being involved.

Now, what about the story?

I decide to take my "blog virus" concept and have that be the catalyst. The rest will be synopsed right now.

Overture:
Jordan Dooling used to frequent a blog titled Progression Enhanced that analyzed and broke down prog albums. Then he stopped, only to come back several months later to find the blog removed. Through a fellow frequenter, he's provided with saved screenshots of every entry, revealing the first pieces to a puzzle Jordan begins to wish he'd never attempted solving.

Movement I- Investigative Implications:
Jordan receives an anonymous email citing a nearby address. This is an abandoned house-- abandoned, that is, other than the blogger behind Progression Enhanced. As he investigates, he discovers a series of experimental videos, and a second blog that seems to have suffered the same fate as Progression, the biggest link being the final comment by "The Camper."

Movement II- The Camper House:
Jordan discovers a third blog that has fallen victim to "The Camper:" The Topography of Thought. This one only raises more questions. Continuing his investigation of the mysterious house, Jordan tries bringing his brother along, only for things to get quite a bit more serious than either could have predicted.

Movement III- Topographic Silence:
After the surprising new events, Jordan is left alone in stunned confusion. Old blogs are reawakened, developments increase exponentially in terms of crypticness, and Jordan begins the slow descent into losing his sanity-- as well as his blog!

Movement IV- Doors Open Wide:
Jordan's sanity is hanging by threads at this point, and yet unfortunately, it's got a lot further to go. The only things certain in this movement are that insanity is painful, and the unknown doesn't care about your past.

Movement V- Regressional Performance:
Jordan's on the run from The Camper, and he thinks he can still save his sanity while he's at it. But the better question is, can he save his brother? Can he save himself?


(Epilogue)


That's the whole story, right there. I worked hard on it for a good eleven months, and with the end of it came the end of an era.