Yeah, I don't know how to fully account for what has happened to the rest of my decade. The short answer is "I got hooked on weed and this caused problems." "But marijuana isn't addictive," you say. "Someone must already have the predilection for substance abuse in order to get addicted to it." Well, there you go. I'm not exactly proud of it.
In September 2021, I consciously gave it up. Long story behind how I managed to do that. It is November now and I have not broken that sobriety. I am gathering the pieces of my life and of my brain. My problems weren't only drug-related; I was drawn to substance abuse by deeper factors, and it is hard to address them. But I am aware of them.
It's not impossible to interpret and even figure out what I am choosing not to say here. I leave that open, out of respect for myself. I need to respect myself, and in new ways.
You don't have to believe me, but the day of creation is soon at hand. I guess I don't have to believe me either. But I really, really want this to be the case.
I am Jordan. It's actually a pretty cool name, now that I'm looking at it. I am Jordan! I am DJay! I had given up, and I'm still here! Nothing is unrecoverable! I just need to try! I am Jordan, and DJay is my mask! I like to wear it, it is not a disguise! See the frayed edges of sanity fall off like dead skin as a better layer finds the sun! I am alive!
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