hate

Post-Jordanism: noun- The artistic (cultural?) movement which began in late 2011. Works within this deal with themes of existential crisis, identity crisis, posttraumatic stress disorder, the state of being broken, intrusive thoughts of (non)existent(?) memory, the morbid preoccupation with suicide, grief, uncontrollable emotion, and darkness as a simple abstract concept. ex. 1: "Kill me."

Saturday, January 19, 2013

This is a post

Hello, Blogger. So glad to see you, my friend. It's been a while.
I think I prefer Tumblr. But it's been far too long since I last made a personal post here, and I suppose I've been needing one.

I.. dunno.
I've been withdrawing lately. Becoming less social. I have a lot of reasons, but I can share very few. But let's not think about reasons just yet; for now, let's take a look at the effects. The 'whats' rather than the 'whys.'

I'm not talking much. To anyone. And I'm liking it. I'm feeling more and more empty as the days go by. I used to think this emptiness was a lack of emotion, but no, there's a definite emotion there. An emotion I've always internally associated with EAT. It's a sort of cold and logical one, empty and with only a passion for accuracy. But still a passion.
I've been writing in my journal a lot lately, whether inspired by Rapture or Rapture being based on writing in journals in the first place. And the main thing I write in it is some variation of or elaboration on "I am The Camper."

'Cause that's essentially true. EAT didn't come out of nowhere; I made her based on a complex series of emotions and fears I had and still have.
I am The Camper. I watch, I learn, I listen, I analyze, I wander, I 'eat,' but I will always feel an insatiable hunger.
That hunger is this emptiness I'm feeling. I don't know what I need, though I think passion is it. Which is why, in Rapture, Salmacis is opposed by The Colour of Blood, who (along with Hestia and The Iemaker) represents passion and its many facets. Though Salmacis, of course, is passionate during the course of the apocalypse-- precisely because of the apocalypse-- which is why that spoilery event happens at the end of September.
But now I'm rambling.

I don't really have anything important to say.
I have a lot of Rapture-related stuff I want to say, though most of it's just being excited for where things will go and I don't want to talk about that.
Just... hello! This is a post.

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