things

Here is how I have been, in video:

I acted in The Good, The Bad, and The Hungry, playing the part of Anton. I also contributed to the editing process.

I have been hard at work on a series called Hobo Who, which I wrote and have been trying to significantly help produce. These two videos are a part of a somewhat separate series titled Hobo Who Confidential, which labels itself as the making of the eponymous series (which is not even out yet) but, in practice, functions more like that of a post-Surrealist skit series.

..wow, for once I used a term like "post-Surrealist" correctly and with no pretense behind it beyond description. I'm proud of myself.

Other than that, I've been down the worst paths of my life (and I keep topping that) as well as the best paths of my life (thankfully also topping that).

Hello.

DJay32, a Retrospective (9): The Era of Better Stories and Secret Projects

So a while back I made some shitty retrospective blog entries going through all the stories I'd made through my childhood and pretty much glorifying the damn things. I was annoying. I probably still am. But the idea of keeping track of where I've been and how far I've come still sounds important so let's make another installment of that.

The Era of Better Stories and Secret Projects

The Start of Topography Genera, and More Goddamn Blogs

After I finished Jordan Eats, what I wanted to do next was expand upon some EAT-related ideas I had as well as find a way to explain the damn Fear in a better context. So I brainstormed a bit and came up with the idea of Topography Genera Center East, some sort of "organization documents Fears"-type shtick. But I didn't have it in me to do it alone, so I contacted a fellow Fearblogger known as alliterator to see if he'd be up for helping me out.

Yeah, I saved the damn PM. Screenshot'd the sucker, I was that happy. alliterator's a big name in the mythos.

Anyway, we set up a private space to plan the story out and, over the course of some months, decided it'd be the kind of story that had a fuckton of sideblogs. So we started Topography Genera Center North, Testing in Progress, Administry for a Cause, The Supernatural Anaesthetist, The Machine Gospels, Tale of the Lost Vikings, Hell and Earth, Hymn From Proserpine, Secret Mysteries, The Endless Obsession, Otso: Genus Unknown, and then there was HELP which was discontinued pretty quickly. We also came up with a fictional prog band called Sunsetters whose music would come up in the story at some point. There's also a lot of voice acting and some videos somewhere in the making.

Point is, this story's long and it's still ongoing, so I guess we'll say this is another one of those "Era Arc" things.

The "More Goddamn Blogs" Part

Outside of Topography Genera, I decided to write a shitton more so I wrote Where My Eyes Remain to try my hand at a slenderblog. That wound up getting pretty popular in the Slender Man Mythos, even netting me a guest part on the Slender Nation Podcast. One of the highlights of my sad life.

There was also Built For Two, some empty story with a lot of vague philosophical exercises. This got surprisingly popular, dunno why when I look back. Another story I wrote at some point was Harlequin Metropolis, which took the plot of Dream Theater's Metropolis, pt. 2: Scenes from a Memory and told it so it didn't suck. I'll admit, this is a point where I don't think I'm overglorifying myself-- Metropolis's story is pretty damn bad and not that hard to fix.

The End of Dark Chao Adventures

Around March/April of 2012, I got fed up of DCA being on hiatus and I brought it back just in time to write an EAT-focused ending. I'm still kinda happy with that. I ended DCA by putting all the characters through eternal torture. You could say it was my attempt at coping with a shitty life. That's a running theme in this retrospective.

The point is, DCA lasted eight years and eight seasons and it's done now and this Era Arc can finally end, thank fuck. Nobody reads the damn story, it was an exercise in self-indulgent futility. It was a proggasm in writing format.

OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING Drags On

All this time, I'm writing more of the Rapture Logs. We're in Act III here, the first half, the shitty half. I get cocky, I have no idea what to do with myself, I just write and bask in the undeserved popularity.

More Goddamn Blogs II: Trouble in Tokyo

In comes an idea to perfect the self-indulgent wankery: Let's make a big crossover between DCA, Topography Genera, and Rapture! So I make PLAN 31: CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE SOCK KIND. It actually turned out pretty okay. Had some decent jokes in it. Invented Theodore Quiet and Frank Slenderman, Ace Attorney. I'm happy with it.

Then I make Fearblog of Fear, Dreams and Sleep and Fear after a conversation with SlendySlayer. Make about eight posts of decent "Let's make fun of bad blogging conventions" humour. I let it drag on a bit with crappypasta-style adventuring before just giving up.

Oh yeah, and then there was Plush. This was an idea to make an entirely fictional Wiki about some fictional video game that was gonna have, like, Fears and shit. Didn't get far. Gave up.

Some of my creepypasta appeared in Faces, Strange and Secret: An Anthology of Stories from the Fear Mythos, so that was pretty cool.

Really, this was the part where I started college and got something resembling a life. At the same time, I got a girlfriend and lost her within months for reasons I still do not know. And I got therapy for my life only for the therapist to end up being like "Instead of helping you in particular, let me help your entire family get better!" So that happened and I'm happy it happened but still I was left without substantial help. My life hit a really strange time.

OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING Gets Good, Ends, Gets Better, Gets Downloadable

As I'm in college, I keep adding to Rapture until it gets to the point where Act IV suddenly becomes 168,000 words alone. I start taking it seriously and I'm really happy with how it ended up. When it was over, I went through it with SlendySlayer a few times and edited it into a final draft and released it as a free downloadable PDF. So there's a happy ending for this. Even if it often feels like the community had faked its enthusiasm for it this whole time and as soon as they revealed that they just gave up on me altogether. But I still get readers through Tumblr and stuff so that'll do for me. Happy ending!

A Bunch of Secret Projects Begin

One of the people I met through TVTropes, a Finnish woman known as Rappu, turns out to be a great friend and a great artist so we talk about stuff and start a secret project. That really picked up steam sometime after Rapture ended. We'll see where that goes. In the meantime, Rappu winds up teaching me a lot about being a decent person and not falling into the cultural obsession with romance, then she goes and teaches me all kinds of things I didn't think I'd learn for another several years. All in all, progress goes better than expected.

Then there's Bones, who was one of my best friends back in America. We keep in touch, and one day he proposes another secret project, and over the course of several months we put some substantial progress towards that. We'll see how that goes too.

A Few More Blogs For Good Measure

Around the end of my college year, I write one more blog called Benefits which was like Built For Two but with a tiny bit more actual substance. Except instead of being a philosophical exercise, this one's an emotional exercise. Reception's quiet, generally favourable.

I bring back Fearblog of Fear and make some more posts for it. It's still kinda dead, though.

One day after finishing Rapture, I brainstorm a ton for a potential sequel, and then I decide to go through with it and start writing Rapture: A Book of Names. This one will probably get an "Era Arc," but for now let's just leave it be.

Then Some Other Stuff That Happened

I write the Fear Mythos series bible and shit. I do a bunch of mediocre Let's Plays. I read a lot of books. I start my second year of college before having the biggest regression I've ever had and starting an unnecessarily long journey of self-reflection and unhappiness.

That's where we are now, as a matter of fact. I'm riding out my regression, doubting myself a ton, trying to make myself feel better, and trying in what hopefully isn't vain to sort my life out.

Thus ends the Era of Better Stories and Secret Projects. What lies in store for the future? Eh, let's hope for something big and unexpected.

How Life is Going!

Oh yeah, this is my OOG blog, isn't it? Well, let me give you followers an update (how on earth did I get twelve?).

Firstly.

OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING is done and out and a downloadable 1100-page PDF! Click that link for the download location thing! SlendySlayer did a grand job helping me edit it, and she's actually the one who organized the PDF itself and just seriously check that thing out. She did well.

Over 400,000 words. At least 85 pictures by seven different artists. More art coming soon.


NOW, what about what else is happening in my life?

I'm in college, for those who don't know, getting my GCSEs. Which.. are the British equivalent of a 10th grade education, really. Easy stuff for me, I just haven't properly been to school since.. what, 2010? So now that I have the chance I want this. I'll be taking my exams next week.
Yeah, I'm not worried.
I could go on with stories of how well I did in the classes themselves. Science, I was flying through tests faster than anyone else, getting some of the highest scores on them. Math, I was one of those kids who usually knew the right answer and people deferred to. Psychology, whenever I even showed up, my teacher generally loved me. English?
Oh god, English.
Is it any surprise to you guys that English is what I'm pursuing A-levels in next year, that English was the only class I did all my homework in, that English was a class I helped my teacher teach when she got too tired of our class, that English was the class where the lowest grade I got on anything was a B (and that was once and a half), and that almost everything I wrote for English class was shown to examiners and other teachers?

..but anyway. What is my plan for this summer? Well, I plan on playing much Rock Band (been slacking off on that, will get back into it when I get my copy of Green Day: Rock Band). I'll probably write stuff here and there. I'll hang out with friends. I'll see if I can get the Otso vlog running more.
Y'know, nothing big.
Oh, and I'm going back to Finland. :D For probably closer to six weeks this time. I'll talk more about this as we get closer to the date. Because goodness, I do want to talk about that. But for now, Jordanilla on päänsärky!

OKAY LET ME TALK MORE ABOUT WRITING

There's Fearblog of Fear, which is shifting into more of an actual plot with some semblance of depth.
There's Benefits, which is my way of making sense of why the hell I smoke now. Going pretty well.
There's Topography Genera, which is.. inching along as usual. Just gotta get video elements up.
Oh, and PLAN 31: RISE OF MCFEAR. My love letter to the Ace Attorney series. Writing that requires me being in a specific mood, though, so its updates will come in waves.
And then there's stories I'm not ready to post or announce yet! One of those stories is a blogpasta that's taking me an annoyingly long time to write, much trickier than other stuff I've written, but when it's ready it'll also have a bit of art to blow people's minds. Another one of those is my love letter to Omega's Mephi while doubling as a post-Rapture story, still in the brainstorming stages because it's the kind of story that I can't afford to blindly jump into. Another one of those is relaaaated to the blogpasta project but will not be ready for reveal for a long long time, a multi-person project that is unlike anything I've ever done.
And, of course, there's the usual Rapture secret project Rappu and I are working on, which is back to the forefront now that the PDF's out. That's one of the biggest reasons I go to Finland in the first place. But again, I'll talk about all this stuff later.

I've also been reading many books! There's Tolstoy's Anna Karenina which I am in love with though it seems to be talking more about horses than I really care about. What I loved-- well, one of the many things I loved-- about War and Peace was its sheer diversity of genre. It covered so many things. Anna Karenina is much more reserved, focusing on a smaller amount of things. And it's a little hit-or-miss with me in that regard.
I'm also reading Franz Kafka's The Trial, which I'm finding really interesting. It sounds vaguely metaphorical and I eat that stuff right up.
And then there's James Joyce's Finnegans Wake, which... is like an oasis I skirt along every now and then, not yet ready to dive headfirst in, but I dip my feet in every once in a while and it makes me feel giddy and in love with everything. When I've had more experience dipping into these oases, I will go deep-sea diving into the Wake.
Then I have a lot of books I will read when I'm not reading all these others. King's IT (I'm getting close to the end kinda), Tolkien's The Hobbit (ugh I do not like his prose but I keep telling people I'll read this stuff), Eliot's Middlemarch (got it on a whim, looks interesting!), Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (also looks interesting and like it will help me understand Ulysses when I eventually get to that), Homer's The Iliad (it's interesting, I just put it on hold a long time ago), Adams' Watership Down (Rappu recommended it, she usually suggests things I end up loving, will get to it), Pratchett's Guards! Guards! (a Discworld book everyone recommends, excited to read it), and Pratchett's Reaper Man (looked interesting!).

Sooo I got a lot. And as I said at some point earlier, I ordered Green Day: Rock Band, and I'm excited to play it. Been getting into Green Day recently, and I'd intended on getting the game eventually as I just plain love everything Harmonix makes.

SO YEAH

On Blog Classifications

For no reason besides organization, I have done my best to come up with a classification system for blogs by their lengths.

Blogpastas
These are those blogs that are extremely short while still being a self-contained story. Usually around 1-20 posts, a blogpasta is basically a creepypasta in the blog medium. Y'know, a short story. Doesn't even have to be horror; none of these classifications do.
Examples: alliterator's The Ripeness is All or And When the Sky Was Opened, The Visitor's Terrific, or my Harlequin Metropolis.

Blogellas
Like a blog novella, these are usually bigger than blogpasta and usually smaller than "proper" blogs. As a result, this is a pretty damn loose term, but according to my classification system, they can range between around 15-100 posts and offer more conflicts than a blogpasta but fewer than a "proper" blog. Yeah, apparently the difference between a novel and a novella is more than just length, and I like the idea of the blog equivalents being similar.
Now obviously, due to the nature of the blog medium, it's very common for a blog to be what this system would call a blogella. A novella has more focus on mood and a few complex characters rather than a complex plot like a novel, and since blogs lend themselves to a more personal first-person narrative, these are common! But as the Fear Mythos evolves, I think we're seeing a lot more experimentation in plot. But the point is that a blogella is the kind of short-ish blog that focuses more on the development of one or a few characters.
Examples: alliterator's Snowball in Hell or Ontological, TheSomnambulist's Urban Malefic, or my Testing in Progress or Built For Two.

Blogs
This is the equivalent of a novel, you could say. They're actually fairly rare, considering their size and effort required. They can range from around, like.. well, they can have as little or as many posts as you like. But they have to have a focus on plot or-- okay I don't even claim to know. But I think the common consensus is that they have to be longer and greater in scale than blogpastas and blogellas, with a considerable amount of conflicts or arcs. I guess it'd also make sense for, say, multiple companion blogellas to thematically join together to make a single "proper" blog "suite" "story" thing. Am I making sense? <:D
Examples: TheSomnambulist's The World Through These Eyeholes, collaboration blog A Realm of Emptiness, Shayde's Not To Touch The Earth, or my Jordan Eats Normally Now.

Epics
If you want to get technical, you could classify these as Blogs, as they tend to follow all the same classifications. But an epic is generally even longer, with even more conflicts or arcs. If you want to go to the real-world equivalent of epics in terms of the novel and film genre, an epic has a large scale (usually worldwide or larger) with far-reaching consequences that are often given much focus or impact. They're also sometimes called sagas and legacies, and they can either feature many protagonists or one hero whose exploits are detailed in (close to) full.
And above all else, an epic is almost always long. The blogosphere has some of these. You can probably see the examples coming from a mile away.
Examples: Omega's Mephi, TheSomnambulist's Amalgam Saga, CuteWithoutThe's collective Dying Man saga, alliterator and I's Topography Genera, and my OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING.

Do note that, in the end, you can call all of these "blogs." That's an appropriate blanket term.
As for how to refer to the "blog" classification, I generally say either "feature-length blog" or "proper blog." Though I suppose maybe capital-B Blog might work.

Thank you for your time!

More Fun With Word Counters

Rapture's finale (original): 27,000 words
Rapture's finale (revised): 29,000 words
Rapture's finale plus credits: 31,000 words
The complete Rapture Logs, third draft: 411,000 words

LOOK AT THAT
LOOK AT THAT NUMBER
LET IT SINK IN

Note to Self

Write one creepypasta for every Rapture Fear. EAT and The Plague Doctor have already been done with "The Ballerinas of Versiansa" and "Death's Beacon," respectively. Write more.

• THE ARCHANGEL
• THE BLACK DOG
• THE BLIND MAN
• THE BRUTE AND THE BURNING BRIDE
• THE CHOIR
• THE COLD BOY
• THE CONVOCATION
• THE DYING MAN
• EAT
• THE EMPTY CITY
• THE EYE
• THE GROTESQUE
• THE INTRUSION
• THE MANUFACTURED NEWBORN
• THE MOTHER OF SNAKES
• THE NIGHTLANDERS
• THE PLAGUE DOCTOR
• THE QUIET
• THE RAKE
• THE RED CAP
• THE SLENDER MAN
• THE SMILING MAN
• THE UNNAMED CHILD
• THE WOODEN GIRL
• The Adrift (The Unnamed Child)
• The Speculum (The Mother of Snakes)
• The Rapturous (The Smiling Man)
• Asclepius (The Bleeding Tree)
• The Reverie (The Grotesque)
• The Kingdom (The Intrusion)
• The Pacific (The Quiet)
• Tuonetar (The Red Cap)
• Hestia (The Burning Bride)
• The Iemaker (The Brute)
• Tytar Tuuri (The House of Fortune)
• Lerna (The Unbounded Face)
• The Vane (The Woman in the Wind)
• The Catechist (The King in the Mountain)
• Eris (The Glitch)

This is a post

Hello, Blogger. So glad to see you, my friend. It's been a while.
I think I prefer Tumblr. But it's been far too long since I last made a personal post here, and I suppose I've been needing one.

I.. dunno.
I've been withdrawing lately. Becoming less social. I have a lot of reasons, but I can share very few. But let's not think about reasons just yet; for now, let's take a look at the effects. The 'whats' rather than the 'whys.'

I'm not talking much. To anyone. And I'm liking it. I'm feeling more and more empty as the days go by. I used to think this emptiness was a lack of emotion, but no, there's a definite emotion there. An emotion I've always internally associated with EAT. It's a sort of cold and logical one, empty and with only a passion for accuracy. But still a passion.
I've been writing in my journal a lot lately, whether inspired by Rapture or Rapture being based on writing in journals in the first place. And the main thing I write in it is some variation of or elaboration on "I am The Camper."

'Cause that's essentially true. EAT didn't come out of nowhere; I made her based on a complex series of emotions and fears I had and still have.
I am The Camper. I watch, I learn, I listen, I analyze, I wander, I 'eat,' but I will always feel an insatiable hunger.
That hunger is this emptiness I'm feeling. I don't know what I need, though I think passion is it. Which is why, in Rapture, Salmacis is opposed by The Colour of Blood, who (along with Hestia and The Iemaker) represents passion and its many facets. Though Salmacis, of course, is passionate during the course of the apocalypse-- precisely because of the apocalypse-- which is why that spoilery event happens at the end of September.
But now I'm rambling.

I don't really have anything important to say.
I have a lot of Rapture-related stuff I want to say, though most of it's just being excited for where things will go and I don't want to talk about that.
Just... hello! This is a post.

I Write Too Much

DCA: Seasons 1-6 (including both Halloween specials and DCA09): 200,000 words
DCA: The Green Journey: 200,000 words
Rapture first draft (up to August 19th): 186,000 words
Rapture: September 30th-October 3rd: 16,000 words
PLAN 31: CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE SOCK KIND: 18,868 words

Now if only I could easily check the word count to Jordan Eats and to Topography Genera so far.
It's interesting to consider that the complete DCA is around 400,000 words, though. Shit, that's around War and Peace length for some translations. Not even the finished Rapture will be that long, according to my speculations. Oh well, I'm fine with Rapture being shorter; it's already considerably better. xD

THUS ENDS TODAY'S EPISODE OF ME BEING BORED
CHECK BACK LATER WHEN I STOP BEING LAZY AND DECIDE TO FINISH MY ANALYSIS OF COLORS

"Everything the Same, III"

The world breathes the same. The waters still the same. Nothing has changed a bit; your life continues the same. History repeats, everything the same.
And every mind thinks, the same:

What of that enigma that was no Camper? What of the beast with the wheels that disappeared down this tunnel? Will I ever see it again? Will it ever allow itself to be seen again?
Will I ever learn its secrets?

Come a year, everything the same.
Come a hundred years, everything the same.
Come a thousand, everything the same.
Come the end of the universe, everything the same. Now to play it all over again. Now to try once more for the passion play. Now to try once more to learn, to escape.
Once more, with feeling.

Educational Video: "How to Design a Blog"

For all you aspiring Fearbloggers out there, let me tell you a thing or two about how to make your blog look fantastic. :D

A Tired Ramble That Becomes Self-Gushing

I'm so tired. But let's make a blog post; it's been a while.

So OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING is 4/5 complete. Over that by now, actually. There is exactly one month of logs left to go; the newest log was September 21st, and the story will end on October 21st. ..well, I'll probably write an epilogue of sorts, but that's nothing, that'll be easy. For now, we just gotta worry about this thing we call Act IV.

Jesus. This isn't gonna be easy. It hasn't been so far, and it won't be now.

So far, we've had a lot of Fear politics and some glimpses into Xanadian politics as well. To be honest, Xanadu probably won't get that much focus. ...probably. I mean, I do want to skirt along the edges of conventional high fantasy, but c'mon. Rapture is high fantasy. High.. surrealist apocalyptic fantasy horror black comedy romance adventure mystery. In stream-of-consciousness.

Wouldn't it be rad if, years from now, people looked back on Rapture as one of our generation's important works of fiction? For its deconstructions of the blogging medium, the zombie apocalypse and post-apocalyptic genres, epic video game motifs, and.. whatever the hell else it deconstructs? As well as for being a work written entirely in stream-of-consciousness; I'm pretty sure that counts for something.

You may have noticed I'm in a self-gushing mood right now. "They say pride comes before the fall," more like they say the asshole comes with the stupid quotes. Now I'm talking to myself.

The point is that I need to write before I can do all of my boasting. And honestly, I'm really nervous. I mean, shit. This is the act that has been foreshadowed since, like, day one. The final battle at the end of this has to be, like, all magnitudes of epic. It has to be completely built up and completely complex and completely eldritch and completely extensive. The Lamb versus The Beast! Cockroach Jesus versus the slender man wearing a scarf and trilby! This is something I never thought I'd write!

This entire story is something I never thought I'd write. Five months of deconstructive apocalypse with me as the protagonist who gets laid a lot all told through stream-of-consciousness? Jeeeeesus. A work of the internet medium, at that. One of these days, the internet medium will be massively big. Like, exponentially more than it currently is. And on that day, I kinda really really hope that Rapture will be remembered.

...and I don't even need to mention that Rapture is an epic. It is, in every way, an epic. The noun form. And I can't tell you how cool that is to realize: I wrote an epic. I wrote a modern epic.

..well. I'm writing one. I need to finish it. I do. For the good of everyone! And for the good of myself!

</ramble> I NEED TO SLEEP DAMMIT

"Everything the Same, II"

The world rotates several more times, the nations flooding and flowing with water and structure.

In a desert country, two former humans stand fifty feet away from each other, massive armies behind each, men standing line-by-line and ready for war. Not a single toy wonders what the point of fighting is when every mind is the same consciousness, for the Camper all know exactly what this conflict's purpose is.

Sound off, one two three.

Muskets fly, spears pierce, feet trample, limbs make contact, bruises develop. Not a single voice is heard; there is no need for exclamation in a world where all think alike. Pain is all in the mind, and what are a few limbs to a being with all the arms in the world?

Thirteen minutes later, only the leader Camper are left standing. Neither had moved an inch in the duration of the skirmish, their faces remaining stern as the philosophies they share. The desert is littered with bodies, and not one of them is dead, only sleeping with holes in their hearts.

At this call of silence, the corpses rise and begin their exodus, following the leaders to the next town, where they will repeat the skirmish identically, a shot-by-shot remake of an artificial war film.

This is how conflicts are settled: Systematically.




In an urban country, a stadium stands, filled with a quiet race of Camper watching the game, concentrating on every nuance and detail. Down on the field, balls are kicked around, boundaries are crossed, figures dash from side to side. Points are scored, boards light up, and the crowd cheers together at every goal, mouths closed at every other instant.

The tactics of the game run through every mind to the point of becoming second-nature. If a Camper in the crowd were to stand up and run onto the field, she could seamlessly enter the game and not a play would be out of place.

A blimp flies overhead with the winning team's name being advertised to the people in the bleachers. Every character knows who the winners will be, and every part of the crowd knows the details of every participant of the blimp. Not one mind ponders on the purpose of advertisement in a world where all are one; all the coaches and all the players and all the producers and all the audience knows what this event's purpose is.

When the game is won, the predicted winners are carried out by a mob of fans with emotionless faces. Parties are held, celebrations roar in every household. Every detail is carefully planned and executed by the same mind, never questioning the point, always certain in the answers sought.

This is how conflicts are created: Systematically.

Everything the same.

Sunsetters: "The Last Sunset"

Life ends, inferno
Splashing surroundings.
Watch the sky turn red.
Trees darken and voices join the sentient wind.
Apologize no more,
Don't mourn the last sunset.
Cold figures laugh at themselves,
The ultimate practical joke.
They see skies fading,
Their faces regret nothing at all tonight.
Still, they think once of
The last sunset bitter.
Water dies,
Unknowing.
With its last breath gone,
The Earth becomes memory.

This is my first attempt at writing proper lyrics for a Sunsetters song. It's titled "The Last Sunset," and it's meant to be a fictional sad piano song off of their debut album, Sunsetters. Track six. See, I went and figured out a rough idea of their entire discography, all eight albums, all thirteen discs. Sunsetters will be relevant to both Topography Genera and Rapture.

I hope that the excerpted lyrics might be satisfactory for anyone who.. likes poetry. <:D

Future Sequence (oh my god)

Whoa, Blogger's updated its engine and stuff. This is surreal. ANYWAY, let me give you an update on my life! :D

So first of all, OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING has started its fourth act. We're two logs in. I've been taking my time with writing it, brushing up on my high fantasy and charting maps of the realms of Xanadu. I have to make at least eleven boss battles for this act, man. This is a difficult act to write, but I intend on putting forth the effort to do it because my readers deserve an epic finale to an epic of a story. And I owe it to myself to make a story I can be proud of consistently, from start to finish.

Second, I've been posting Rapture on Slender Nation, and I've added hashtags to every log. I want more readers, y'know? I want to put my name out there. It's about time I stop being anxious about that and flaunt my stories in more places. Hell, doing this has already gotten me, like, eight new followers in about a week. I'm pretty happy with that!

Third, I recently took a break from writing the epic that is Rapture and wrote a 25-post comedy blog called PLAN 31: CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE SOCK KIND. It's a mixture of DCA, Topography Genera, and Rapture. ..like, it literally is a mixture of the three stories. But also with Fear Mythos inside jokes thrown in. But I mean, you could probably read it without knowing any of our inside jokes; if you take it all at face value, it probably seems accidentally Pratchettian. I seem to be good at that despite only ever having read about fifteen pages of one Terry Pratchett book ever. xD But yeah! PLAN 31 really turned out well, considering literally the only reason I started it was as a writing exercise.

Fourth, I'd may as well say this somewhere: Topography Genera isn't gonna be updating much for a few months. Because Rapture. I mean, there'll still be updates, sure, but don't expect much in the way of serious story.

Fifth, "How's that Rapture project with Rappu going?" Just fine. >w>

..sixth:

FI(D)JDSIGUaufhgsoDIAJFIOJDIUFDHSIGFusfhidjgffgiusnmgd9uadnfzcijosvxkfhuesbfdijcvxfedis9ogfgh9udijf(IOJMDSG*JDISGSGJDS(UGIDJSGMDSGIJDSgsdigjs9gifkmdsf9ifdghu9gj

Act III is over!

OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING's third act is complete. That's right, "The Duels of the Knights of Xanadu" is over. Clocking in at a staggering thirty-nine logs, this has been Rapture's longest act. It has also been the most down-to-earth, and it was probably the most character-driven and complex piece I've ever written.

Am I proud of it? Yes.

Am I satisfied with it? No. Yes. Maybe.

So what's the scoop? What was the third act about? Well, it focused on expanding upon a recurring motif of the story that I had only barely scratched the surface of: The Fears falling from their heaven. The concept that the Fears view themselves as these God-like beings with true power over the human race, yet in the end, a bigger fish comes around and shows them how petty they are. Once they realize there's something far more eldritch than them coming to kill them all, they start to trust humans a lot more. But their fall from heaven doesn't come without resistance, of course, and that's where a lot of Fears go crazy with insecurity (like The Ecclesiarchway or The Harlequin).

Then on the other side of the plot fence, the third act was about emotions and being too driven by them, letting them land you into nasty heaps of trouble. ..'sabout it.

So what's gonna happen next? Well, that's what I'm gonna be figuring out over the next few months.

Another Rapture Ramble!

So next up in OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING will be the exciting finale to the third act. I've been writing in excess lately, and I.. well, it'd be inaccurate to say "I've burned out." Because I'm around that point in my life where I can write pretty damn easily. The only problem there was that I got burned out for that one day, which itself was because I've had to write two filler logs in a row. Filler isn't fun to write.

But it was necessary filler, it really was. The protagonists had to go from Iceland (to Finland, and then) to Australia, and they had to meet up with the Knights of Xanadu on the way and decide to focus their efforts on attacking The Neonate. But on the way, I had to throw in creative rabbit holes, and that really.. gets repetitive. But really, the logs were necessary; there needed to be a break between the epic logs before and the epic finale after.

But hey! Now we're at the finale, which was planned to be the climax/turning point for the whole story! Of course, I've eased a lot of the burden by sorta spreading the climactic revelations out among the logs preceding it. Plus Jordan's been naturally progressing as a human being to become a better person, whereas he originally was planned to just have a mindblowing "THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO" speech in the climax. But now that'll be much more logical, more like a final nail in the coffin instead of putting all the nails in at the same time.

As for what the finale will entail, you can probably predict some stuff at this point. The setting will be the Topography Genera Center South (originally planned to be West), or rather it'll be half that and half Xanadu. ..a very specific place in Xanadu. The chess pieces will be the protagonists, Phil Collins and Beavis Superbear, The Neonate, The Anathema, some more people I'll figure out, The Ruin, Salmacis, Tiresias, The Musicians, and Cockroach Jesus.

I gotta say, this is probably one of the most plot-heavy serials I've written since DCA. And it's not just plot-heavy, it's heavily specular in its reflection! Yes, there will be many parallels here with Topography Genera and-- if I can play my cards right-- DCA. Rapture's crossing paths with all kinds, and it's gonna do it in such a way that you won't even notice if you're not specifically looking. ..if I can play my cards right.

Honestly, I'm nervous as fuck about this.

On a much more mundane note, I'm thinking of naming the serial "Topography Genera." Simply because that's a really nice name. But I might think of a better name.

"The Facebook Theater Show: Murder, Plain and Simple"

In late March of 2011, I made a Facebook note that was basically a murder mystery involving whatever friends I could think of. I figured I'd post it here. May as well migrate all my works into one place! Do note that this was the first part of a planned trilogy. I did have about half of the second done, and I might go back and finish this.

YOU is a stickman. His name is seriously "You." He is the protagonist of pretty much every story ever.

You enters the Facebook Theater from left. He steps in front of the closed curtain, looks in the front row and sees a lot of curious faces. No doubt they're all here because of the news... You thinks to himself.

He steps up to the mic and clears his throat. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Those of you who have not yet taken a seat, please do so now." Seconds pass. "I assume you've all read the flyer, or the e-mail, or whatever news you got that told you to go to the Facebook Theater. I know you must all be wondering what the big news is that I shall be telling you. Well, I'm getting to that.

"I see some high and important faces in our audience tonight. Jane's here. Of course. Explains why our bouncer is dead. What's that? ...oh, of course. He called you 'miss.' Where's Jordan? ....in the bathroom? Alright. Who's that I see further back? Paul Botsford, the man who demolishes cul-de-sacs in his spare time? What a surprise to have you here! *gasp* Why, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that's.. Catie 'Fentzy' DeBiaso, the 'badass of science.' Can't be. At a Facebook show? What are the odds? ..oh hello! Eric 'Bones' Taylor! I'd recognize that moustache anywhere. Oh, some people just coming in. Daniel Finnegan, I see there. Yes, you. I know for a fact you're a miner. I also see Simon Phillips, Australian guy. Still out of a job, Simon? Ah, you rascal. I keep expecting to see.... and I do! Melody LaRochelle, who famously brought The Beatles back from the dead and managed them for seven years! Oh, it is such an honour.

"Hm, it seems Wilson Dworschak is attending tonight. Work not keeping you too busy, I see. Nor is it keeping Mister Alex Toor busy, either, since he's also attending. That's right, I saw you, Alex. ..how did I not see you, Tyler Murray? Everyone, you may know him better as Lil Hungry. The rapper. Oh, the guys are coming in from the bathroom. There, I see Owen Norris, creator of the mythos we all know and love. That.. one mythos. With the twelve monsters. Then coming in is Dovid Steinberg, not creating any kind of wave. How appropriate. Oh, the duo of dudes are here! That is, Thomas Wagstaff and Matty Wright! We have quite the audience tonight. Hm, sorry, I skipped over Michelle Landers! You know, the famous wedding coordinator. She's here, too.

"But still. Where is.. oh! There he is. You folks may know this fellow as the creator of various novels and series; he's also a bit of a regular here at the Theater. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Jordan Dooling? ..well, okay, I will. There he is, returning to his seat in the front row. ..the.. the guy in the slendercoat and trilby. Go ahead, Jordan, go take a seat. I'll tell you the news now.

"You see, some of you may be wondering what happened to the man known as Sean. Remember him? Star of the Sean series? ..by Jordan? He was a real person, you know. Well, I'll tell you what's happened to him.

"He's dead.

"Murder."

Every single member of the audience stands up. The ladies realize they're standing and then promptly sit. The coupled ladies pull their partners down with them.

"I understand this may be a little hard to swallow. You're most likely wondering how and when it happened. Well.. that's why I called you folks here. You all have your own skills; I was hoping some of you could help figure this out."

Bones raises his hand.

"Ah. Mister Taylor. Yes?"

"You want us to help figure it out? Where, exactly, is the deceased?"

"Excellent question."

You steps to the side of the stage and pulls the curtains up. The audience gasps.

On the stage of the Facebook Theater is a dead male, somewhere in his twenties (at the time this story takes place), with dirty-blonde hair. His face is frozen in anguish. His skin is pale. This is Sean. He is lying on his stomach; there is a knife wound on his back.

You urges the forming crowd to return to their seats. They do.

"As you can see, these are dark days. Sean was the catalyst for a many great adventures. Without him, future stories may be shaky. But we will mourn on a later date. For now, we need the audience's help.

"First of all, I request that, if there are any doctors or scientist-type people in this theater, they come up to the stage to offer a cause of death."

A woman further back steps up and heads down the aisle. She is the woman You had earlier thought was Catie, then dismissed her. Turns out? It was.

A voice in the front row shouts "WHOO, GO FENTZY! :D" ..yes, even the smiley face.

Fentzy waves back before stepping onto the stage.

You asks for the lady's name.

"Catie DeBiaso, Badass of Science, sir."

"...oh. Well, shit. So I was wrong."

"Yeah, looks like you were."

"I, um.. I need your help with--"

"Maybe I don't want to help you anymore."

"I'm terribly, terribly sorry for the mix-up, ma'am! It's hard to tell people apart from up on stage!"

"Yeah, you spotted all the other guys just fine."

"Sorry! So sorry!"

"Fine. What do you want, again? Cause of death?"

"Y-yes, please."

Fentzy takes one glance at the corpse.

"Knife wound in the back."

"You sure?"

"There is a blatant knife sticking out of his back. Blood is coming out."

"Okay. What about the time of death?"

Fentzy crouches and feels the corpse's neck.

"Two hours."

"Two?"

"That's what I said, bitch."

"Right! Uh.. hohoh."

You steps back up to the microphone and clears his throat.

"According to the expert in the theater, Sean died two hours ago by a knife w--"

"HOLY CRAP."

You turns around to find Fentzy had flipped Sean over.

In his chest is a gunshot wound.

Fentzy looks at You; he says, "Well.. this might change some things."

"Well, folks! Things get more complicated by the second. Tell me, does anyone here have a gun?"

Moments pass. One person hesitantly stands up, holding a pistol. The person is Paul Botsford.

"Very well. Mister Botsford, you are the prime suspect for this murder, and I request that you stay in the theater until we are done questioning you. In the meantime, everyone else can leave; we will call another meeting when we are ready."

The crowd slowly and reluctantly begins leaving.

Jordan heads onto the stage as people shuffle out. The stage is oddly deserted-- only Fentzy, You, and Bones remain up there. You is standing to the side, a worried look on his face. He approaches Jordan.

"Mister Dooling, I'm not cut out for hosting. Why weren't you the speaker, like you always are?"

"I've had to give up a lot of my time ever since.. well.. settling down."

"..oh. Quite right. Of course." You looks at Jordan's outfit and remarks, "Where's your hat?"

"Huh? Oh. I dunno. Jane grabbed it again, I suppose."

"Speaking of, where is she?"

"Teabagging the dead bouncer? I have no idea. So what were you saying? You're not cut out for this gig?"

"Yes, exactly that. I tried my best, but.. this is a serious crime we've got here. Our safety may be at stake."

Jordan raises an eyebrow. "Our safety?"

"Well, yes. Sean was murdered on-stage while the curtains were down. It's absurdly dark when the curtains are down."

"Are you suggesting--"

"HEY! YOU!"

You is needed elsewhere. He cuts Jordan off, excuses himself, and takes his leave. The trilby-less man is left pondering.

Fentzy, who was examining the body, quietly says, "You sure likes to jump to conclusions." She then gets up and leaves.

A Mister Owen Norris enters the stage and goes to talk to Bones. Jordan examines the corpse.

The gunshot wound is in the chest... but there's also the knife in the back. Both seem like fatal attacks, Jordan thinks to himself, though the gunshot wound actually doesn't seem quite as fatal. It seems to be at an angle. An upwards angle. Jordan looks upwards in all directions. Owen looks at him, then back to Bones.

Nothing up there but catwalks. I think. What about this knife? He takes a close look at the knife. It has an engraving, scratched out considerably. Jordan can just about make out "M..ec...t" on the handle.

"Yo, Rael."

Jordan looks up. Bones is walking up to him; Owen is leaving the stage.

Bones adjusts his fedora and says, "Looks like the stage is empty 'cept for the slenderbrothers."

"Yes. Looks that way. What'd Owen want?"

"He was actually asking about Marble Hornets. The Operator. Whether or not I believe in that kinda thing."

"That's an odd question to be asking at a murder scene."

"You're telling me."

"What'd you say?"

"'Nah.' I mean, The Operator's just a glorified version of the slender man, and he's an internet myth, right?"

"Of course."

"So then he told me how he's starting to believe he might be being stalked. Then he hugged me."

Jordan takes off his sunglasses. "He hugged you?"

"Yeah. Then he left. ..put your shades back on; you look weird."

'Rael' complies. "I dunno, man. This night. This night keeps getting weirder."

"It sure does."

The two stand for a bit, looking down at Sean. Bones swears he sees a red dot on the floor. Jordan ignores this.

Jordan mentions the knife. "It had an engraving. 'M.. something.'"

"Maybe it was Marble Hornets? Heh."

"Nah, it was one word. I really don't think those films have anything to do with this."

"I'm sure there are plenty of Ms in the audience."

"Yeah..."

"JORDAAAN!"

Abruptly, Jordan is hugged from behind by Jane.

Eric spies the red dot from before moving towards Jordan.

He follows it and tries stomping on it. A small, red object falls out of his coat.

It's a bomb.

"Bones, what were you doing with that?" Asks Rael, shocked.

Bones gets up, looks at the fallen object, and says "Oh, shit!"

Other people start to return. You spies the bomb and screams. He runs up to it and checks it.

It's about to blow.

Bravely, Jane grabs the ticking explosive and runs as fast as she can to the backdoor to the theater, whereupon she throws it into the nearest dumpster.

Boom.

You stares at Eric.

"Mister Taylor, you.. you were attempting to murder Jordan, weren't you?"

Bones is speechless.

Everyone is gathered back to their seats; another meeting is called.

You, despite his anxiety, resumes his role as speaker.

"I know that a good portion of the audience has left already," coincidentally, the only people left were all the people mentioned in the beginning, "but we have an increasingly worrying situation on our hands. Earlier, as you all know, Sean was murdered by gunshot. Well, a mere ten minutes ago, the regular host here at the Facebook Theater, Jordan Dooling, was.. well, not 'murdered.' It was an attempted murder and act of terrorism. Mister Eric 'Bones' Taylor tried to destroy himself as well as Jordan with a bomb."

The crowd is turned into a worried murmur.

One man attempts to stand up; he has trouble but is noticed, nontheless. This is Danny Finnegan. He asks, "Can.. can I go home? I'm sorry; I was shot in the foot, and I fear it doesn't help to be here longer."

You, a curious look on his face, asks how he got shot.

"I don't even know! It just happened, up by the stage."

The worried murmur increases into a disturbed discussion.

You tries his best to calm everyone down. Eventually, Jane screams "CAN IT, GUYS."

The room goes quiet. You thanks her.

"I can see that there is definitely some kind of.. of.. conspiracy of sorts going on. I suppose we're going to need to do some actual investigating. Jane, since people seem to do as you say, I'm putting you in charge of that."

"Can Jordan help?"

"Why? He's technically a victim; that's a little unorthodox."

"Well fuck your orthodoxy, man. He's my friend, and I want him to help."

"Ah, very well. If you really want that. The rest of you, stay put unless called upon for questioning."

The investigating team sets up a table and some chairs in the lobby.

The first person Jane calls for questioning is Paul Botsford.

He comes in and has a seat.

Jane begins the interview with a simple question.

"Did you do it?"

"Wait, do what?"

"Bitch, did you shoot Sean in the chest a couple hours ago, or did you not?"

"No!""Then what about.. this?" She pulls out Paul's pistol.

"I know what it looks like. But I was just given that gun from Jalani just this morning. I don't even know how to use it."Jordan asks for the gun. Jane keeps it and tinkers with it.

"You're right, man. It's pretty confusing. I've used less confusing weapons used to kill theoretical physicists."

"Yeah, I mean.. I didn't even ask for it or anything. He just gave it to me."

Jordan raises his hand. Jane pats him on the head. "Speak."

"Thank you, ma'am. Paul."

"Yeah, dude?"

"Was Jalani here tonight?"

"Uh.. yeah, I think so."

Jordan looks at Jane. She nods her head, then says to Paul, "Alright, perp. Back to your seat. Tell Jalani he's next."

"Kay, thanks!"

With that, Paul gets up and leaves.

Jordan tells Jane she did a really nice job.

"Thanks, bitch. Nice call on the Jalani thing. You think this could be our guy?"

"I dunno. I mean, the reason I asked Paul if Jalani was here... I mean, I haven't seen Jalani in a good while."

"What? Then who'd Paul see?"

"I guess we're gonna find out."

"Nope! I'm gonna find out."

"What'll I do, then, ma'am?"

"Go investigate. Quietly. This is our chance to find shit out."

"Oh! Great idea!"

Jordan quietly leaves and begins looking for anything of relevance.

Danny comes into the lobby and sits down.

Jane asks where Jalani is.

"Jalani's not here. I was then told to talk to you, since I'm gonna be going early."

"Bah. It's always something. So tell me, Finny. How'd you get shot, again?"

"I was up on the stage, thinkin'.."

"What were you thinking about? Tell me!"

"Nothing! Just.. Minecraft. I made the Facebook Theater in it last night. Every detail. I love this place. Jordan's lucky; he gets to host here all the time."

"Then you suddenly realized you were shot? In the foot?"

"Yeah. I screamed rather loudly, too. Not sure why people didn't hear me."

"Ah, you're useless, kid. Get outta here. Tell Bones to come see me."

Meanwhile, Jordan had found the passage to the upper catwalks overlooking the stage. He's exploring them.

Bones comes into the lobby and has a seat. He can't look Jane in the eyes.

"Bones. I have one question for you, okay?"

"..okay."

"Did you attempt to kill Jordan?"

"No. I swear, I didn't know I had anything on me. I didn't come in here with anything on me besides my clothes."

"Then.. what happened?"

"I had just finished talking to Owen about Marble Hornets, so I went to talk to Jordan. We shot the breeze. Then you showed up and I chased a little weird red dot, and next thing I know, there's a bomb that apparently fell out of my damn coat."

"I.. I mean, I believe you, Eric. You're Jordan's best friend. You have every motive not to kill him. But still, I'm worried about him. He nearly died."

"Hey, so did I."

"Yeah, but you're not m--"

Jordan comes running in, shouting "JANE! Jane! You won't believe what I found, holy shit."

Eric and Jane look at him.

"I found a sniper rifle in the catwalks, pointing at the stage."

Jane's eyes widen. "That'd.. that'd explain how Sean got shot since the gun doesn't work, right?"

Eric's eyes also widen. "Dude, and the red dot I saw on the stage. That might have been the sniper's sight!"

Jordan's eyes then widen more. "We were being aimed at?!"

Eric asks to see the sniper rifle.

The catwalks above the stage are in good condition, since the Facebook Theater wasn't made that long ago. They overlook the stage from behind the curtain while remaining adequately hidden.

Resting just out of sight of anyone who might look on from below, peering down into the stage, is a sniper rifle.

Eric grabs and examines the rifle, looking for anything that might give any clues.

He finds one.

"Jordan. Look. On the grip. See that?"

"Yeah, that's... holy shit. No way."

Jane asks what they found. Eric shows her.

It is a circle with an X through it.

".....oh. I know that symbol. What's it mean?"

Jordan turns and begins walking away. "It means we've caught our perp."

Down on the stage, someone had taken the knife out of Sean's body, little to the protagonists' knowledge.

You had gone out to the lobby to see what progress Jane and Jordan had made. Bones has been out there for a while; that girl must really be getting some answers, he thought as he stepped out into the room.

As he approaches the empty table, he hears the door slam shut behind him.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Coming back from the catwalk passageway, just entering the lobby, are Jane, Jordan, and Bones. They hear You and prepare to give him answers.

Then the lights go out. The three stop in their tracks, unsure of what's going on.

You asks once more for a name, who might be turning the lights off. A figure appears behind him, holding a sharp object.

Jane's ready to charge forward.. when they hear a loud "TAKE THAT!" followed by a groan.

Bones goes and finds a light switch, switching it on.

Danny Finnegan, wielding the knife covered in Sean's blood, is lying on the floor, groaning. Fentzy is standing over him; she swiftly takes the knife off of him. "Just who I suspected."

You is startled, to say the least. He asks what's going on.

Everyone else (sans Danny) begins talking. Jane tells them all to "can it and tell it to the audience."

The audience spreads confused murmurs as they see You, Jordan, Jane, Bones walking to the stage. They spread even more as they see Danny being dragged to the stage by Fentzy.

You steps up to the microphone once more.

"I'm sorry for all the delays, ladies and gentlemen. I understand you must be wondering what's going on, who attempted to murder whom, who actually did murder whom. Well, it is my understanding that these folk know the answers. Go right ahead."

Fentzy steps up first and clears her throat.

"Sean was both shot and stabbed, yes, but You made the mistake of assuming it was thegunshot that did him in. I've taken a close look at his body, and with the way the gunshot wound is angled, it looks like it went straight through him at a downwards angle, not passing through anything vital. Therefore, it was the knife that killed him. Someone stabbed Sean in the back on the stage with the curtains down, two hours before the show. Well, that person was none other than Danny Finnegan, who I've got right here.

"See, the knife that was stuck in Sean has an engraving. It's a nine-letter word starting with M, with an e and a c halfway through, and a t at the end. That word? Minecraft. Who's addicted to Minecraft? Danny. Danny was also found just now in the lobby, attempting to murder You. So you ladies and gentlemen in the audience may be wondering why he killed Sean, why he attempted to kill You. Well.... I don't know that just yet. But I bet these three guys here can help us piece the puzzle together."

Jane steps up this time.

"Lemme tell ya what I found out in my investigations, kay? I found out that, first of all, Paul's gun is completely downright impossible to figure out how to work. Second of all, he was given it by Jalani. No idea why."

You interrupts, "Jalani? But he left shortly before the actual meeting began."

"You mean he was actually here?"

"Well, yes. I saw him."

"Damn! This shit's awfully complicated. Anyway, lemme stick to the facts. Third of-- that's what I was on, right? Third of all, and this one's important, I found out how Finny got shot. He says he was up on the stage at the time, thinking about Minecraft, how he made this theater on it."

Fentzy speaks up, "Of course! The bullet that hit Sean! It passed right through him and must have struck Danny in the foot! Talk about a sucky coincidence."

"Right. But we'll get to the gunshot in a bit. First, I want Finny to tell me why he stabbed Sean." She turns to look at Danny.

Danny shakes his head. He's pleading the fifth on this one.

"Fine. Prolong your suffering, bitch. We'll figure this out."

Jordan gets a sudden idea.

"What if we're looking at this all wrong? What if we're not supposed to ask why he killed Sean, but rather.. who he was trying to kill?"

You catches on. "By jove! Of course!"

"It's as You said, it's dark as hell when the curtains are down. I doubt Danny knew who he was actually approaching. He just assumed it was who he wanted to kill."

"But who would he think would theoretically most likely be on the stage, ready for if ever the curtains go up?"

Jane turns pale. She then hugs Jordan.

Jordan gets goosebumps. "Oh. Me. I am a regular here, after all..."

Jane then kicks Danny. "Why the hell do you want to kill Jordan?"

Danny finally opens up. "He's so fucking lucky. He gets to host all kinds of shit on the Facebook Theater. This is one of the most beautiful stages in all of human history, and yet he sticks to only hosting the occasional mediocre comedy act? If I were the regular host, I'd throw awards shows, skits, get several comedians, throw film viewings, every single night! I figured killing him'd be the easiest way to replace him. Since I failed at killing him twice, I settled for You. Which also didn't work."

Jane kicks Danny several times. "That is the stupidest motive I have ever heard for trying to kill someone, seriously!"

The crowd begins to jeer.

Eric looks at Jordan, who looks back. Jordan steps up to the mic.

"We're not done yet, people. Sean was stabbed, yes, but then who shot him? And who framed Bones, trying to kill us both? Well, we also looked into that. You see, up in the catwalks above the stage, there is a sniper rifle, concealed very well. At two separate points tonight, it was under the operation of someone with not entirely the nicest intent. The first was when Sean and Danny were shot. The second was just before the discovery of the bomb. Bones claims to have seen a sniper sight-- a little red dot-- moving towards me.

"Now, that second one can be figured out easily. Someone trying to kill me, most likely after failing the first time. Danny. But then, what of the first shot? What of the bomb? Clearly, we've got a second perpetrator, and I have reason to believe this is no mere accomplice, otherwise Danny wouldn't have been shot. This is a fully independent operation.

"When Bones examined the sniper rifle earlier tonight, he discovered a marking on its grip. It is, simply put, a circle with an X through it. A very common symbol, yes, but bare with me. Before Bones came to talk to me onstage, a man spoke with him about a film series known as Marble Hornets. Throughout that series is something called the Operator symbol. The Operator symbol is, simply put, a circle.. with an X through it!"

Bones steps up. "I'd just like to say that, when this man was finished speaking with me, he hugged me. He put his arm very close to my coat collar. The bomb fell out of my coat, almost as if it wasn't planted very well. You know where I'm going with this, I imagine. Rael, please continue."

"Thank you, Bones. Now, as for the issue of motives, I can't really give one. To any of the crimes this man allegedly commited."

"You don't have to. I'm coming clean."

"Ah, there he is. Ladies and gentlemen, the man we are accusing of attempted murder of, what, three different people? Plus attempted acts of terrorism, what with that bomb. Here he is, Owen Norris!"

Mister Norris steps up onto the stage. He takes the microphone.

"Hi. I'm Owen Norris. I, uh.. while giving as few details as possile, I'm a member of a very, very secret society. We deal in a specialized kind of security. There is a thing out there that stalks and murders people, but it only does so to the people who know about it. See, we go around and find out who knows about this secret thing, and.. we kill them. Why? 'Cause if we don't, it will, and it won't do it as nicely as we do. So we just go around and put people out of their misery. I didn't mean to shoot Sean; I meant to shoot Jalani. I knew from my intelligence reports that Jalani was meeting up with Sean tonight here to discuss some rather.. confidential matters. This was the best opportunity to take down a man who has had Army training.

"What more, Mister Dooling here, as much as I love the guy, he kinda knows about the thing, too. And so does Bones. So I gave Eric that bomb and sent him off to do the duty. What more, Jane also knows about the thing, and she was in the originally-intended vicinity, so.. that would have solved a problem I hadn't considered at the time. So uh, Mister Finnegan murdering Sean was entirely coincidental, as was his attempt to kill Jordan."

Jane speaks up. "Wait, 'thing.' You're talking about the fucking slender man, the internet-made urban legend, aren't you?"

"That is correct, in a way."

"God, why can't people ever kill others for good reasons anymore? The slender man is FAKE, man! He doesn't actually kill people!"

By this point, the crowd is done being patient. They charge onto the stage and pick up Owen and Danny, carrying them out of the theater. The criminals are taken to the police and shit lives happily ever after.

Now we are left with the five people, standing on the stage, relieved that everything is done.

You thanks the four for their help and takes his leave. "I'm never speaking here ever again."

Bones thanks the three for clearing his name and walks off. "That was one hell of a night."

Fentzy thanks the other two for helping out with catching the culprits and leaves. "At least we figured out the truth."

Jane thanks Jordan for whatever it is he did. "Let's get out of this place. Murder scenes are depressing."

Jordan thanks Jane for saving his life with that bomb. "I dunno; I think I might host more stuff here."

They leave.

..and run into You, Bones, and Fentzy at the front door.

You is listening to an urgent-sounding phone call on Bones' phone. The other two are watching, curious.

Jordan and Jane join the group.

You eventually thanks the voice and hangs up. He gives Eric his phone back.

Jordan asks what that was all about.

You has a funny look on his face.

"Jalani was just found dead in the local park. One witness."

-written by Jordan Dooling, characters not exactly used with people's permission.