DJay32, a retrospective (8): The Discovery of Fear

The Discovery of Fear


"A New Mythos"


In February of 2011, I received a message from troper CuteWithoutThe asking if I wanted to make an eldritch abomination for a mythos he was making. As long as it had something to do with water, it was fine. So I spent a good few weeks thinking of all these details, brainstorming monsters, and I settled on the hive minded creature known as EAT. That wasn't all, though; I was advised to blog about it, much in the style of the recent surge of slender man-related blogs online.

Jordan Eats Normally Now


Entry here. Jordan Eats took me a good ten, eleven months to make. It was about the fictional Jordan as he investigated why certain blogs have been disappearing, why a girl was now in a house thousands of miles away from her home, and what happened to his brother. It became a five-movement story with a lot of things I'm not too proud of, but it was apparently one of the most popular Fearblogs.

The Establishment of the Fear Mythos


In early March of 2011, troper alliterator suggested the eldritch abominations in our mythos be metaphorically "the embodiments of fear." We progressed from this to calling the monsters "Fears," and then to calling the whole mythos "The Fear Mythos." The other Fearbloggers-- who I affectionately like to refer to as "my colleagues" -- made dozens of amazing blogs about creative Fears. Myself, I wrote away with Jordan Eats. In May of 2011, I decided to make a short story blog to add to the pile.

Moonlit Whispers


This story was about a man nicknamed "Garth" who had been hearing odd noises in his apartment, so he started recording them to see if he could decipher them and fix them. Turned out to be The Rake. This blog was received with warm reception.

From Facebook to Tumblr: A New Kind of Fearblog


I was making Facebook notes one day when I realized it was May 21st, 2011. "The world was supposed to end in Rapture today, wasn't it?" So I received a stroke of brilliance.

OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING


Entry here. I started a new Facebook note in the style of a survival log of me trying to survive in this craaaazy apocalypse. The Rake was thrown in for the fact that it's very horror movie-esque and for no other reason. I came up with very colourful characters-- like Cockroach Jesus. This note received insane critical acclaim from everyone who read it. One thing lead to another, so I decided to make a second note continuing the story. Bam, more acclaim.

I wrote a few more notes, crafting a more complex plot than just "THE WORLD IS ENDING OH GOD." I also decided to turn it into a Fear-focused story. I needed a way to show it to more people, so I experimented with Tumblr and wound up making a nice blog for the story. I completely moved the story's focus to Tumblr, and now the story is a planned four-act epic with every Fear (up to The Eye) playing a large role.

Rapture wound up taking inspiration from everything I had previously written. It was the spiritual successor to DCA in that it shared the comedy and insane plots of the seventh season (among other things-- like it's fucking huge). It featured Fentzy and Jane in both starring their art and involving them in the story. It was often structured and paced like a video game, much like the Sean games. It had musical references so far up the ass that you could say prog is as much of a rapist as The Harlequin. And Jane. ...and.. let me move on!

This story is ongoing.

Slow Writing


I got sick of being limited to only Rapture and Jordan Eats.

Memories of a Time Beyond


Entry here. This was a story about a girl named Polly whose past was haunted by figures she only knew as "The Choir." Her life was heavily distorted, and her memories were obfuscated. In the blog, she tried to make sense of her obfuscated past. Story received generally warm reception.

Then I moved back to America on August 5th, 2011. Hung out with Eric a lot, not to mention many other friends. It didn't work out, so I returned back to England on December 3rd, where I finished Jordan Eats and have been Rapturing on and off.

With the end of Jordan Eats Normally Now came the end of an era, and it turns out it was the end of this era. Rapture's an era arc, much like Dark Chao Adventures before it; it exists in multiple eras, rather on its own timeline.

In retrospect, The Discovery of Fear gave me an amazing outlet to vent all my stresses as well as to experiment greatly with the creative new medium of blogging. This era introduced the joys of OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING, and it made me truly respect my writing talents.

What's to come: Who knows? In fact, I want to make an entry talking about brainstorms for what could possibly come next.

Two Jordan Eats Normally Now Bonuses

Jordan Eats Normally Now alternate ending.


Instead of choosing to stay in Metropolis, this ending shows Jordan choosing his old life. You can see for yourself how that turns out. Originally planned to have Jordan become a Nightlander, but I had difficulty pulling that off. The annoying thing is, this actually wound up a better-done ending than the Metropolis one. >__> But the Metropolis ending is what the story was supposed to end with.

"Time" blooper.


Making the videos of Jordan Eats wasn't always easy, especially not when Nathan was involved. I've lost the footage from most of the previous clips, but here's a blooper I found from recording Nathan's dramatic climax. Not exactly that funny, but it's something.

The End of Jordan Eats Normally Now

Jordan Eats is over. For credits, highlight the bottom of the post.

There was also an epilogue ending The Topography of Thought and giving answers in the most vague of ways possible.

Bonuses in the next post.

Sad update.

My actors across the pond can't do the video.

I'm rewriting the scene so I can do it myself somehow. Expect Jordan Eats to end sometime in the next 24 hours.

Tiny update part two.

Still waiting on that video from Nathan and Kit.

Tiny update.

The finale to Jordan Eats Normally Now should be coming in the next couple days. My actors across the pond are going to shoot their scene soon.

On Jordan Eats, the definite finale

Spoilers abound for those who haven't read Jordan Eats.

Towards the start of Jordan Eats Normally Now, the character of Nathan entered. He was portrayed as a comedic, lighthearted human, and the brother of narrator Jordan. He was introduced to serve the purpose of being a third party, as it was requested that Jordan explore areas "with someone else." So he brings his brother!


As time went on, Nathan became a sort of "sacrificial lamb" character, being stabbed in the eye and then later trapped in a Door. Being trapped in The Empty City represented a sort of metaphorical "death" for Nathan. Jordan slowly crumbled as EAT and The Empty City played on his fears and recent loss. Jordan blamed himself for Nathan's "death" entirely. Eventually, Jordan chose to step into a Door himself, whereupon he got lost in the City.


He has been spending all this time searching for Nathan, searching for Sam, searching for anyone, all while slowly turning into a Nightlander. He found the Nightlander form of Sam, and after an eldritch imprisonment, even found Nathan. Whether Nathan was a Nightlander or not remains unseen. Nathan gave Jordan the advice to take the City's bribe and leave for England.


The opportunity has presented our narrator with a choice: Take the Door out of the City and resume his place in the chess game, or pursue Nathan and stay forever in eldritch Hell. Which will it be?

I have been thinking the plot through ever since I came back to the States, and I think ending it soon is the right choice. The question is, will Jordan go after Nathan or not? That's seriously something I need to decide. I have both endings planned out, and chances are I'll film both and release the uncanon one here. But I need to figure out which one will be canon.

I need to put Jordan Eats to rest.

On Jordan Eats, the possibility of a finale

Jordan Eats Normally Now is a roughly allegorical story telling of my ongoing struggles to survive in the bastard's journey that is my life. A lot of the earlier entries, the England entries, were telling of trying to keep myself sane while slowly being driven away from reality and into the world of my obsessions (EAT, the eldritch abomination of the England entries, was created around my fear of drowning in my obsessive world), especially after my brother Nathan and his girlfriend Kit (who played the part of Sam) left for America.

I wound up getting an opportunity to go back to the States, myself, so I took the allegory on a wild chase. I sent Jordan through a Door to The Empty City. Making The Empty City was hard to decide, but really easy to execute. I just put the camera on each time and let the mysteries unfold by themselves. The Empty City is not meant to make sense, although vague hints of symbolism are intended. In the end, the only thing it truly represents is the crazy events of my life in America.

If stress faced me, I would go straight to Jordan Eats and blog as if the City was messing with my mind. If other people were caught on camera, I would act as if I don't see them, to leave the viewer pondering as to the specifics of the City. I utilized what I could in camera effects and lighting to make the videos appear as crazy and symbolic as I could as the story progressed. I really took the pretentious route, because I wanted to make it clear how eldritch an abomination can be.

In the end, my life is coming to a full-fledged Octavarium-style circle, and the Door in front of me is making the noises of my home in England. So thus, Jordan Eats must reflect this.

I never really knew when I wanted the blog to end, but with this dramatic progression of events, I feel the finish line racing towards us. I'm eating my way back home.

What is "Jordan Eats Normally Now?"

Off to the side of this blog, you may spot a gadget referring to itself as my "online resume." On it are a series of links to various works of mine. It's not complete, despite what it may tell you. I don't remember all of my works, and there are bound to be a few I don't even want to share. But in the meantime, I had may as well describe what each link actually links to.

Jordan Eats Normally Now


Way early in the year (around February-ish, I'd say), I was asked by a fellow troper whether I could provide an eldritch abomination for a little project of his. He specifically asked for a "Water Elemental" for something he referred to as simply "A New Mythos." The mythos was to be a mythos of creepypasta and other assorted internet horror featuring an assortment of baddies, and my pal wanted a water-based one.

So I go to the New Mythos thread and throw out five brainstorms for "water elemental" abominations. One of them is a tentacled pondmonster, one is a Victorian-era lady of steam, one is a strange mist in the middle of the desert, one is something that possesses grandfathers, and one is a ten-staged "blog comment virus." I decide to blend two together-- the first and the last.

I have now created an eldritch abomination. But what to call it? For now, it's just called "the Water Elemental." I think for a while, and I discover an oddity in horror: a lot of horror is inspired by heavy metal or folk or just plain rock lyrics, with a lot of the eldritch inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. I set my heart out on being different. I set my heart out on being inspired by progressive rock, and the works of Stephen King and Troy Wagner.

I begin to come up with the inner workings of my beast, crafting the details of the "ten-stage blog virus," merging it with the tentacled pond-monster. I look into what could possibly be more original than tentacles in a pond, and I find out through a fellow troper that many fungi have "string"-like extensions that are similar in appearance to tentacles. I decide to make my Water Elemental a sort of eldritch fungus. ..that expels ink.

You see, the Water Elemental works by "eating" the water in a body of liquid and replacing it all with its "ink." Its ink looks exactly like water and tastes exactly like it, but if it happens to "eat" all the water in your body (70% water!)? Welcome to the hive mind, bitch. Welcome to her hive mind.

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.


I still need a name, though. So I open up my music library and take a look at some of the most progressive stuff I have. I spot two names: Genesis' "The Battle of Epping Forest" and Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Tarkus." I start throwing brainstorms out there. "The Pond Epper?" Not quite. "The Epping Tarkus?" Close, but something's missing. ...then I remember the seventh movement of "Tarkus:" Aquatarkus.

"The Epping AquaTarkus." Say hello to EAT.

My colleagues love it. "EAT." It sounds so evil.
But it's not evil. It's patient, it's growing, and it's not of this world, but it's not evil.
It's perfect. But also learning. Learning about us.

Now I just need a story.

What's wrong with most blog horror stories? They're obviously fake; the protagonist has a couple of normal entries before "OMG SLENDER MAN." The prose is too.. formal; if a character meets and has a lengthy discussion with someone or something, when they get home that night, they will recount every single detail of the conversation word-for-word. They're hard to follow if using multiple media; EverymanHYBRID is the perfect offender of this, with several blogs and YouTube channels and Twitters that require multiple timelines just to follow accurately.

To remedy the first problem, I decide to use a blog I'd been keeping since age twelve. Originally titled DJay32's Paper Dimension, renamed Jordan, Large But Not in Charge, and then finally (coincidentally) renamed Jordan Eats Normally Now, this blog has as realistic of a backlog as it gets; it really is real.

To remedy the second problem, I make sure my protagonist omits a lot of information and is as unreliable and untalkative about his life as it gets. If he has a discussion with someone in the day, he'll go home to blog and either give a rough recollection of events or not mention it at all.

To remedy the third problem, I make sure all external media is captured in screenshot/link and posted on the main blog. If a new reader were to read only the blog, they would therefore get the whole story, despite many videos being uploaded to YouTube and other blogs being involved.

Now, what about the story?

I decide to take my "blog virus" concept and have that be the catalyst. The rest will be synopsed right now.

Overture:
Jordan Dooling used to frequent a blog titled Progression Enhanced that analyzed and broke down prog albums. Then he stopped, only to come back several months later to find the blog removed. Through a fellow frequenter, he's provided with saved screenshots of every entry, revealing the first pieces to a puzzle Jordan begins to wish he'd never attempted solving.

Movement I- Investigative Implications:
Jordan receives an anonymous email citing a nearby address. This is an abandoned house-- abandoned, that is, other than the blogger behind Progression Enhanced. As he investigates, he discovers a series of experimental videos, and a second blog that seems to have suffered the same fate as Progression, the biggest link being the final comment by "The Camper."

Movement II- The Camper House:
Jordan discovers a third blog that has fallen victim to "The Camper:" The Topography of Thought. This one only raises more questions. Continuing his investigation of the mysterious house, Jordan tries bringing his brother along, only for things to get quite a bit more serious than either could have predicted.

Movement III- Topographic Silence:
After the surprising new events, Jordan is left alone in stunned confusion. Old blogs are reawakened, developments increase exponentially in terms of crypticness, and Jordan begins the slow descent into losing his sanity-- as well as his blog!

Movement IV- Doors Open Wide:
Jordan's sanity is hanging by threads at this point, and yet unfortunately, it's got a lot further to go. The only things certain in this movement are that insanity is painful, and the unknown doesn't care about your past.

Movement V- Regressional Performance:
Jordan's on the run from The Camper, and he thinks he can still save his sanity while he's at it. But the better question is, can he save his brother? Can he save himself?


(Epilogue)


That's the whole story, right there. I worked hard on it for a good eleven months, and with the end of it came the end of an era.